One of the things I looked forward to during my first year of college was going to a college party. Well, I went to one, and I spent a majority of my time concerned for (yet oddly fascinated by) the physical and mental well-being of everyone around me. I also, however, spent a good amount of my college party experience thinking of things I would much rather do:

1. Order Chinese take-out

I'd much rather be staring at a family sized container of fried rice than watching you stick your tongue down that other person's throat.

2. Re-watch School of Rock

Because "you're [all] tacky and I hate you."

3. Learn to rap to Nicki Minaj's verse in Monster

I think this skill would be much more impressive than your ability to down a fifth of vodka.

4. Play card games/ board games/ literally any type of game, I'll even go for bingo

What ever happened to a good game of Spoons?

5. Bake some snickerdoodles

I'd probably end up burning them, but even that would beat being surrounded by sweaty bodies.

6. Make a stop-motion video to a hit song from the early 2000's

Maybe if someone played some NSYNC, I'd hate the party just a little less.

7. Plan out the interior of my future home

There's going to be a swirly slide right next to the staircase that leads into the basement, and a life-sized Scrabble board on one of the basement walls.

8. Take multiple quizzes on which Friends character I am most similar to

Also suggested: Which Harry Potter House do you Belong to? Or, What Kind of Pizza Topping Would you Be?

9. Online shop for stupid things I definitely don't need but I actually do need

For example: a third Harry Potter themed mug, a set of Ninja Turtle socks, a giant PEZ dispenser, and a kangaroo onesie, etc.

10. Question why I'm not at a party like a normal 20-something year old

But then remember that I hate going to parties.

11. Reconnect with my Webkinz

Gotta make sure my daily Wheel of Wow spin doesn't go to waste, am I right?

12. Sit in bed and do nothing

Because even that's better than spending hours surrounded by drunk and horny young adults that are pretending to have the time of their life while making meaningless conversation with people who are too wasted to remember anything the next morning.

Going to parties might be some peoples idea of what a "college experience" should have, but it's most definitely not a scene for everyone. You're not missing out on anything if you don't spend your Friday nights hitting up your local banger, and I promise you're not the only one who would rather be baking cupcakes than getting baked. Do what you think you'll be happiest doing, and if that's going to a party and getting some alcohol in your system then so be it. But if not, don't worry, I understand.