I went to high school with a group of boys that found humor in rape jokes. A few boys within the friend group made rape jokes about my friends and I, and I came to learn of them a few months later. In one particular joke in which I was the subject, a boy said that he wished to rape me and get me pregnant. I continued to learn that these boys made all kinds of crude remarks about me, calling me names and making vile jokes that were one step down from rape. When I confronted some of the boys about these jokes, I did not get any proper response or a hint of guilt- not even an insincere apology. I'm sure that they continued to make rape jokes after the confrontation, and I know for certain that they never stopped talking shit about me until the school year was over. I later learned that they made these jokes in front of a larger group of boys, who all laughed and nodded along, giving their approval for more jokes to continue. The situation unfolded and I began to tell my friends about what had happened. They agreed that the particular boy that made the joke about me was "gross"- but they remained his friend and, with the exception of one friend of mine, didn't feel the need to say anything to his face about the situation.

One in five women will be raped in the United States. 23% of college undergraduate females and 15% of college males experience rape or sexual assault through some form of violence. Two-thirds of college students experience sexual harassment. 81% of women and 20% of men that are raped experience short or long term effects like PTSD.

Today, when I look back at everything that happened in high school, I'm filled with sorrow. Before, there used to be anger, and then there was a brief moment where I forgot about everything and moved on from all the toxicity that was my high school experience. But today, I'm just sad. I'm sad because that boy believed what he said was okay. His friends believed that what he said was okay. My friends passivity proved that what he said was okay. Moreover, it hurts to know that there are real victims of rape that must hear these jokes often and are forced to fight the pain that they suffered and will continue to endure for a very long time. It hurts to know that no one took the situation seriously enough to stand up to the person that made those remarks.

You never know what someone may be going through- a victim of rape can be largely affected and/or triggered by rape jokes. When someone is raped, they must live with pain, trauma, fear, and unfortunately, maybe even guilt, for the rest of their lives. The cause of their pain should not be the subject of your laughter.

Simply put: Rape jokes are not funny.

They do not constitute as jokes. They are vile messages that seek to incite laughter through the degrading and devaluing of another human being. Rape jokes are simply one step closer to the act of rape. They make the action of rape more acceptable, more normalized, and extremely trivial. By laughing at a rape joke, you are enabling rape. By not speaking up to someone making rape jokes, you are enabling rape. By making a rape joke, you are enabling rape.