Trust is a fragile thing that most people are willing to give out unconditionally to friends. Trust is easy to give out for some people and harder for others. Some have had their trust broken before, which makes it harder to give it out willingly. Trust can be broken easily and it takes a lot of work to build it back. This is a story about broken trust.

She awoke in a strange bed next to a familiar face, he was fast asleep. Her head was fuzzy and she was still a bit drunk from earlier in the night. She looked around the room, and the only source of light she could find was from the alarm clock that read 5 am. Her feet softly hit the ground and that’s when she noticed her clothes spewed across the floor. Without much thought she got dressed and she slipped out quietly and made her way back to her room in the early morning.

Once back, she crawled into bed and laid in the dark, in silence listening to the sounds of her roommate breath in and out. She couldn’t sleep. Not with all the thoughts going through her head. She tried to recall last night's events, but everything was fuzzy. She could only remember certain moments of last night. She retraced her steps. She remembered starting off the night playing a drinking game with her roommates. The atmosphere was lively and full of laughs. That's when he showed up. Everything grew a little tense, when he just sat there and did nothing, but was quickly brushed off.

Throughout the night, parts were blank but she recalled throwing up at some point. She knew that somehow she made it to his room, but couldn’t remember why. She was tired and drunk, so she fell asleep in his bed. She awoke to movement next to her. She opened her eyes, staring at the wall in front of her and looked down to see a hand groping her breasts. She was confused, and rolled over to face him. He started kissing her, and she froze. She didn’t know what to do. She could of pushed him off or gotten out of there, but she just froze.

Everything else wasn’t clear in her head, she remembered him saying “you’re sober enough to consent” After that nothing, or maybe her mind did her a favor and blocked it out. That’s where the story begins, waking up to a familiar face.

Thinking about the previous night's events, she didn't know what to make of it. He was her friend? She trusted him. Was it her fault?

Tears rolled down her face and she curled up under her covers. An hour passed and her head still hurt, she quietly got up, as to not disturb her sleeping roommate. She felt gross and dirty. She slipped into the shower and stood under the water for what seemed like forever. If only water could wash away the troubles.

When she returned, her roommate was up and asked when she got back in last night. She didn’t know what to say. She broke down crying and told her roommate all she could remember. She eventually told her closest friends and parents. “Don’t blame yourself” and “it wasn’t your fault” were repeated over and over again. It was hard not to blame herself. One comment that stuck out to her was “friends don't rape”.

When tragic events happen we grieve and send our love and support to the victims and survivors. We think what a shame, and get angry that bad things happen to good people. But we live in a bubble of security that those things would never happen to us. When it does, it almost seems unreal and we are left in a haze of confusion and shock.

She pulled herself together and distracted herself with other things, but deep down she was having panic attacks every time she saw him, and hated herself that it got to her. She was taught to be a strong independent women, but she later learned that it’s okay to ask for help.

Her friends and parents offered support to the best of their abilities but they didn’t fully understand. No one would, until it happens to you.