My name is Bella. I am a seventeen-year-old caucasian girl and I have never said the n-word. I have never typed it. I have never written it. And guess, what? I'm okay! I have survived! Avoiding a single word has never caused me any inconvenience. I have existed successfully for seventeen years, ten months, and sixteen days without this word passing my lips. Why have I never said this word you may ask? It's simple, really.
The answer is history and respect for others. The n-word is a term coined by the white landowners who enslaved the African people for centuries, to dehumanize and degrade them. Yes, African American slavery may be "in the past" but racism and oppression of the community are still alive and well today. Out of respect for the past as well as the present, avoiding a single word really isn't a tall order.
However, the reason it is alright for a black person to use this term is due to the concept of reclamation. Many oppressed communities are now reclaiming words used against them negatively for empowerment purposes. I came across a tweet once that perfectly summed up the reason why and the difference between a black person using the n-word and anyone else.
Twitter user @natalia_tkx says "People can agree that it's acceptable for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend 'babe', but not call other girls 'babe' because the relationship between the boyfriend and the girlfriend is different to the relationship between him and other girls. We live in a culture where its acceptable for certain people and groups to use words that others cannot use. So why tf are people having difficulty with extending this concept to why they cannot use the n-word, and black people can."
Even if you don't "get" why it's offensive to say the n-word if you aren't black, out of respect for other humans you should avoid it. There are many things one may not understand because they have never first hand experienced it. However, human decency should compel us to not want to offend others, and instead to respect them and not purposefully attempt to provoke them.
People often try to excuse saying the n-word when singing along to a song. Honestly, though, it's not hard to skip over a word in a lyric, or simply replace it with a non-racist word. When humans are told what to do, they automatically feel compelled to go against it, yet this is a simple thing you can do to be a good ally and a decent person.
This “I can do what I want” attitude is immature and bratty. A quote from Ta-Neshi Coates reads: "The experience of a being a hip-hop fan and not being able to use the n-word is actually very insightful. It will give you just a little peek into the world of what it means to be black...because to be black is to walk through the world and watch people doing things that you cannot do, that you can't join in and do. So I think there's actually a lot to be learned from refraining."
Perhaps you may have a black friend or acquaintance who is alright with you saying the n-word. Great! However, one person from a community is not representative of it in its entirety. The majority have expressed their wish for non-black people to refrain from the use of the n-word. At the end of the day, it is no longer your word to say.
All in all, don't use the n-word if you aren't black! I promise it's not hard.