19 Actual Quotes From Children That Will Leave You In Stitches

Proof that kids will believe and say anything!

Jul 24, 2018

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19 Actual Quotes From Children That Will Leave You In Stitches

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Whether you've worked at a summer camp, attended one, or seen it from a distance, you know that every summer is jam-packed with hilarious moments and quotes that stick with you long after camp is done. Here are 19 of my own, gathered from 4 summers of experience, all of which are 100% real.

1. Minding P's and Q's.

Me: So what was the best part of the week?

Kid: My favorite part was hanging out with the Al-Qaedas in the barn!

Me: ...I think you mean alpacas.

2. Food sculpture gone wrong.

Kitchen staff: Hey! Did you guys like eating the dragon we made for you out of fruit roll-ups?

Kid: Dragon? I thought it was supposed to be a lobster...

3. It's the little things...

Note from the campers: Shout-out to all the barnstaff for wearing pants!

Barn worker: So... there was an option not to?

4. Mistaken for a bunny.

Me: So what's your favorite animal at the barn?

Camper: My favorite is this bunny! [Holds up disgruntled guinea pig].

Me: That... that is not a bunny.

5. Dramatic irony.

[I'm taking a kid to the bathroom when we walk by a random pair of boxers lying on the ground].

Me: Hey, look! Someone just left their boxers in the middle of camp.

Kid: Hehe--yeah, who would ever do that? [Looks at boxers] ...wait a minute! Those are mine!

6. I am as young as the campers are gullible.

Teen camper: Hey, is it true that you're only twelve and a half years old?

Me (his counselor): ...yes.

Teen: Oh okay!

7. The cologne of nature class.

Nature teacher: So who knows what the cologne of nature class is?

Camper 1: Peanuts!

Nature teacher: No.

Camper 2: Sweat!

Nature teacher: No...

Camper 3: Bugspray?

Nature teacher: Yes!

8. Should have cena-t coming.

Me: Okay kids, finish this sentence... And his name is John--

Campers: Stamos!

Me: No...

9. Mistaken for a platypus.

Camper: Don't guinea pigs eat their own eggs sometimes?

Me: Guinea pigs... don't lay eggs.

10. Desperate times.

Me: [sees camper eating grass] Hey, uh... why are you eating grass?

Camper: You do what you need to survive!

Camper 2: Dude, we're eating dinner in, like, 5 minutes...

11. Instant Karma.

[while playing dodgeball]

Camper: Come at me, losers! You're all throwing like girls!

[immediately gets hit in the crotch]

12. That would be the 'Skate' artist.

Camp Leader: Hey, does anybody know the name of that escape artist who held his breath underwater for 15 minutes?

Camper: Yeah, Tony Hawk!

13. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Camper: [eats entire packet of butter]

Me: How many of those have you eaten?

Camper: Three or four...

14. I don't think he's seen the movie.

Me: Tell me about a movie you've seen.

Camper: You know that movie, 20 Days of Slavery?

Me: Do you mean... 12 Years a Slave?

Camper: Yeah, 12 Days of Slavery!

Me: It was a little longer than 12 days...

15. Mistaken for candy.

Camper: I ate a slug once.

Me: But... why?

Camper: I thought it was candy.

16. WHAT?!

Camper: I heard you got someone pregnant!

Me: What?!

Camper: Yeah, at the barn!

Me: WHAT?!

Camper: A barn worker said you left a boy guinea pig with a girl guinea pig and now she's pregnant.

Me: Ohhhhhh...

17. Child prodigy.

Me: What's something you're really proud of doing?

Teen camper: Graduating!

Me: You graduated?!

Teen camper: From the 5th grade...

18. One of these things is not like the others.

Me: If you were stuck on a desert island with three movies to watch for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

Camper: Black Panther, Justice League, and... the Bee Movie.

Me: ???

19. Mistaken for coffee.

Me: Does anyone know who wrote the Jurassic Park song?

Camper: Was it... Leo DiCappuccino?

Me: Not quite.

Summer camp is a great time for fun, laughs, and making some really great (and odd) memories.

summer camp memories

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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19 Actual Quotes From Children That Will Leave You In Stitches

Proof that kids will believe and say anything!

1. Minding P's and Q's.

2. Food sculpture gone wrong.

3. It's the little things...

4. Mistaken for a bunny.

5. Dramatic irony.

6. I am as young as the campers are gullible.

7. The cologne of nature class.

8. Should have cena-t coming.

9. Mistaken for a platypus.

10. Desperate times.

11. Instant Karma.

12. That would be the 'Skate' artist.

13. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

14. I don't think he's seen the movie.

15. Mistaken for candy.

16. WHAT?!

17. Child prodigy.

18. One of these things is not like the others.

19. Mistaken for coffee.

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It's not as easy as it sounds.

PRO: More time for self care.

CON: More time to overthink.

PRO: More time to spend with family and friends.

CON: More time to get into trouble.

You can be yourself without having to explain yourself, because she accepts you and loves you just the way you are.

The temperature may not be very Autumn-like, but these playlists sure are.

1. Southern Gothic

2. Autumn Acoustics

3. Autumn Leaves

4. Deep Dark Indie

5. Dreamy Fall

6. Halloween Hipster

7. Wanderlust

8. Your Favorite Coffeehouse

... Because life happens

1. Realizing there's no more toilet paper when it's already too late.

2. Making a cup of coffee in the morning and forgetting it in the car.

3. Pushing doors that say pull.

4. When you hear people chew.

5. When it's really quiet in a room and you hear that one person breathing like they just ran a marathon.

6. Grabbing a chocolate chip cookie, only to realize it's actually oatmeal raisin.

7. Getting comfortable in bed and then realizing you forgot to pee/turn off the light.

8. That one aunt/uncle that just always gives you that creepy vibe.

9. When your teacher makes you buy a textbook that you never even crack open.

10. Continuing to open and reopen the fridge until the food that you want magically makes its way in there.

11. Walking into a room and then automatically forgetting why you went in there.

12. People that drive without using their blinker.

13. When you have really slow wi-fi.

14. People who feel the need to scream into their phones as if the other person can't hear them.

15. The world's obsession with the Kardashian/Jenner families.

16. Advertisements before Youtube videos.

17. When people read over your shoulder.

18. A-holes that park in the handicapped spots when they, in fact, not handicapped.

19. People who cut in line.

20. The LIRR/MTA

21. Being stuck behind someone who is walking painfully slow.

22. When people smoke cigarettes right in front of the entrance to the building you have to walk into.

23. When boys think it's cool to treat girls like crap.

24. Guys that still go to high school parties even though they've been out of high school for years.

25. Celebrities that are obviously lip-syncing.

26. How you need a scissor to get the scissor out of its package.

27. When people text using that stupid "voice text" function.

28. Telling someone you can't hear them, so they use the same exact volume and just repeat what they said.

29. When someone gets in the shower right as you were about to get in the shower.

30. Saying "What?" for some reason, even though you heard what the person said.

31. When you're in a rush but the light is red.

32. Cashiers putting your change down on the counter instead of in your hand.

33. The people that go up to order food to the cashier but are still continuing their phone conversation.

34. That awkward time in the fall when it's freezing in the morning but stifling in the afternoon.

35. Emailing your professor a long winded paragraph about a problem you are having and they email back, "Sure."

36. Guys who put their car as their profile picture on Facebook.

37. Girls who have "X Years Young." in their Instagram bios.

38. Trying to find the beginning to a roll of tape.

39. When people drive your car and adjust your mirrors/seat.

40. People that talk during the movie.

41. People that decide to engage in conversation right in the middle of the hallway/sidewalk.

42. When someone says, "no offense," and then continues to say something offensive.

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