10 Weird Quotes From College Professors

10 Phrases Students Have Heard From College Professors That You Will NOT Believe

College professors say some weird stuff.


In my head I built the image of college professors looking, speaking, and acting very formally. Through just one semester of college, I can already throw that image out the window. Here are some of my favorite quotes from various professors.

1. "You can win over anybody with a deep understanding of the metric system"

Let me just tell you, I tested this theory, and my girlfriend was not impressed.

2. "They won't fire me if I tell them the course materials are TBD instead of  N/A."

Not gonna lie, I was fine with this because it meant I didn't have to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a textbook I'm gonna use once.

3. "Holy @%$# it's cold outside!"

It was 58 and sunny.

4. "What's everyone doing here? Doesn't this start at 11? Oh no, it started 8 minutes ago."

I feel like this is something Creed from "The Office" would say.

5. "How dare my son end my lineage by refusing to have kids because he doesn't want the kid to go through inconveniences like job interviews?"

He started disgracing his own son for not wanting children, like geez, take a chill pill, man, if you're getting this angry over nothing then it's probably a good thing your lineage isn't gonna continue.

6. "Cardi B is the only person on this earth capable of running this country"

Well, they're not wrong.

7. "I've worked with chimpanzees smarter than you."

Not the first time I've had this said to me before.

8. "Dudes in the back playing "Fortnite," you guys understanding this?"

Somehow those dudes in the back playing "Fortnite" all got A's and I feel cheated.

9. "My mom just won $10,000 so peace out, I'll see you in hell."

Class was canceled for the next week.

10. "Cut those toxic bitches who don't let you copy homework out of your life."

Yes, this came out of the mouth of a college professor.

College professors are much less formal than you might think. All this weird stuff they've said really taught me that.

Popular Right Now

10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter

I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.


One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

High School Seniors Should Be Excited For College, Not Scared

Even though it seems stressful and it is a big new place, it will be some of the best memories you will have for life.


Going into the summer after my high school graduation, all I could think about was college, and how I was going to prepare to go to a new school and move away from home. Just know, it is not as stressful as you prepare yourself for it to be. You don't need to worry about not having any friends or not knowing how to get to all the different buildings because you have to remember everyone else on campus has been in the exact same position you are in, and there are tons of people on campus to help you.

One of the things I was most worried about was classes and how to know which classes to take. My advice is to go to counseling and plan out your classes before you register. Planning out classes will drastically help you stay on track and the counselors will help you make a balanced schedule that you can actually handle.

Another piece of advice would be to not bring as much stuff for your dorm as you think you will need. By all means, bring the essential things that you will need, but remember a dorm room is very small and you share it with another person. You won't have a ton of space for extra stuff and you want to have space to move around and actually live in your dorm.

Finally, if you are concerned about meeting people and making friends, just try and be as outgoing and open as possible. Everyone else in the dorms is just as nervous as you are too meet people, it really helps to try to branch out. Joining clubs or greek life also helps you meet people around campus with common interests as you.

College is not something to be scared of. Even though it seems stressful and it is a big new place, it will be some of the best memories you will have for life.


Related Content

Facebook Comments