Unlike most people, I was fortunate enough to be able to quit something that added too much stress to my life: my job. My job made my anxiety go through the roof. The employers (except a few) did not care about their employees, which only made it harder to work there. While working there, I saw a significant drop in my grades, and I experience a significant amount of weight gain due to stress eating. But since quitting, I have learned a few things about myself.
I am stronger than my anxiety. Before every single shift, I had a panic attack. I cried, hyperventilated, thought about how easy it would be to just call off. But I didn’t. I went to work every day after going through this. Not only did I go to work, but I did my job well. A lot of the time I feel like my anxiety won, but knowing that I have put up with this for as long as I did, proves that my anxiety does not dictate my life. I do.
I do not let my anger get the best of me. People that work or have worked in retail have many stories about customers unjustly being angry with them and then expecting the best customer service they’ve ever had. It is emotionally draining to deal with this every time you go into work. It is hard to not give that rude customer a taste of their own medicine, but I’ve learned that I am able to keep my cool in heated situations, which has been very beneficial outside of work.
I am smart. While I was working at this job, my grades dropped significantly. I even ended up on academic probation. I was .3 points away from being academically dismissed. I worked my ass off in school, but I was not seeing that in my grades. I was so stressed from work and school that I just wanted to pull my hair out. I ate to help cope with my feelings, and then I slept to get away from everything. I never got enough sleep. Since my biggest anxiety irritant was cut from my life, my grades have gone up drastically, and I’m on my way to getting my English degree.
My friends and family are awesome. They have supported my decision to quit since I first talked about it. They could all see what this job was taking from me. They have been there to help me whenever I needed it. Along the way, I have lost some friends. I was very generous and always surprising my friends with things. And since I can’t do that anymore, a few of these "friends" have since stopped talking to me. But the friends and family who have stuck with me and always supported me mean everything to me, and I don’t know what I would do without them.
I feel so content with my life since I have quit my job. Anxiety doesn’t well up in my body like it used to. (Even on my days off!) I’ve been solely focused on school, which will, in turn, get me to where I want to be in life. My friends and family have been supportive of me and my decision from the beginning. I may not have as much money as I used to, but I am not “broke.” I am not “broke” because I am happy. And someone who is happy is never broken.
