“You are going to college! You are the first in your family! You should be proud of yourself!”
Of course. High school was difficult. Senior year was even harder. Balancing schoolwork with extracurriculars, college applications, scholarship applications, choosing where you would spend the next four years of your life, finals… You made it through. The hard work you put in is one hundred percent reflected in the fact that you are already (or if you attend Carleton, will soon be) on campus.
Now what? You hear the little “college is the best time of your life” saying all the time. Yeah, it sure is. But what about the “college was a hard transition for me” stories? There is a reason why we rarely hear those.
The struggle, as a low-income, first generation student of color is real!
You do not hear about it though, because a large amount of students who attend your school have parents or older siblings who have gone to college and know the ups and downs and how to navigate them. We do not. Because we are the first in our families, there is no way we can ask them for any sort of academic advice or how to ask for help when times get rough. I experience this constantly at Carleton.
If you go to a school like Carleton (small and predominantly white), you are the minority. It does not help that it is in the middle of nowhere either because the population is similar to that of the school’s. You are entering an environment where a lot of the students have grown up in places where there is little to no diversity. How do you talk to your family about those problems when they have no idea what you are talking about?
When it comes to the schoolwork, all of those AP classes and homework cannot compare. In my case, I thought my college-prep school had prepared me for what was to come. Unfortunately, that is not how things worked out. Academics are challenging and there will be points in time where you do not feel worthy enough to be in class, worthy enough to participate or worthy enough to feel like you belong in your new environment.
Remember this though: Never compare yourself to them. Your experience is completely different. It does not mean you are not smart or that you do not belong. It just means that we have it a little harder and that we have to work a little more.
As for diversity, we are the first to deal with such problems. Do not worry though because you are not the only one. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Like my dad said, “if it were easy, everybody would be there.” There is a reason why you are there, and there are people who are there for you to help you and want to see you succeed.
The college transition is hard, but it is okay. You are not alone, do not be afraid to reach out. Find those people who share similar stories and can give you more advice on how to push through. You matter and you belong.