When something horrible happens in your life for the first time, how do you know how to handle it? Do you cry all the time until all your tears are gone? Do you scream and shout until you feel better? Do you go about your life to make it seem like it never happened? Do you sleep it away until you feel like its okay to get out of bed again? Honestly, I have no idea.

When I was 18, my best friend got into a car accident and passed away. I had absolutely no idea how to cope with it. I was completely lost. It was supposed to be the best summer of my life. All of my friends were going off to college in the fall, I was enrolled in nursing school, everything was going great. Exactly one month after graduation, all hell broke loose and my world came crashing down.

I come from a small town, my graduating class was a whopping 70 people. Everyone knew everyone. The kind of place where last names really seem to stick and if you didn't have that last name then you wouldn't get jack. I loved coming from a small town. Our idea of fun were bonfires, house parties, long rides through the country and fishing. Everyone was always down to have a good time.

Now when I say all hell broke loose after his accident, I mean nothing like this really happens in a small town, yeah here and there, but I never thought it would happen to me or at least to my best friend. The day I got the call will be a day that will always be imprinted in my brain. One thing it all made me realize was that nothing is ever certain. He was just a 19-year-old boy on his way to football practice when his life ended. Tomorrow is never promised and it took me a while to realize that.

What I mean by is it okay to question God is, is it okay? I did it, for months if not more. Still to this day I wonder why it happened and why he chose him. I blamed God for the longest time after. Like he had to take my best friend, one of the only people I could talk to at all times about anything. That took some getting used to, not having that person anymore. I think that's the whole grieving process, learning to live without someone that was in your life. Learning to wake up knowing you cannot just pick up your phone anymore and call or text this person. I did, I used to call his phone, even though he didn't leave a voice message, hoping and praying that one day he would just answer.

It's okay to do it your own way. Do not ever think that the way your're handling things is the wrong way. For so long after I thought I was grieving wrongly. I thought that since everyone went through with their plans and I decided not to go to school at that time that maybe I was handling it wrong. It took me so long to realize and learn that not everyone handles everything the same way. That almost 3 years after the accident i'm ready to start something new, maybe move away and start school, something different. I lost friends over the way I grieved and that's okay. Everything is meant to be and I had to always remind myself of that.

So, I say this as someone that has experienced trauma, heartache and loss. Yes, I believe it is okay to question God. Do whatever makes you feel better, just know, it all happened for a reason. Maybe he was taken for a bigger purpose then I will ever know. I grew up in a christian home, therefore, religion is a big part and for me to question that was a big deal for me. I'm so thankful for the time spent with him and the memories he made with all of us that we will never forget. I'll see him again someday and until then i'm going to live my life on this earth like tomorrow is my last day. As always Marcus, Chest Up, Eyes Up, Pray Up.