Labels have become the norm in our society, especially among millennials and Generation Z. Somehow every single person seems to know exactly who they are, which is a huge contrast for our age group that used to be pegged for being the key faction who were constantly entangled in an inability to settle and define themselves. However, this seems to be intimidating for a large number of individuals who have yet to label their identity.
While this trope applies to a multitude of topics, this is particularly important in today’s LGBT+ community. Within the community, people have been asking for respect toward bisexuals and pansexuals, who are often scrutinized by both the members of the community and bigots outside.
Due to this backlash against biphobia, a rise in the pressure to label yourself has been leaving negative effects on those who don’t subscribe to the identities.
Yes, biphobia is a major issue. People overlooking the bisexual identity causes a major divide in the community. Underrepresentation, straight-washing, and trivialization are all threats against bisexuals and don’t forget the backlash that comes with homophobia that many bisexuals also face.
Advocates for more inclusion of bisexuals have the right idea, but I have personally witnessed some who are causing just as much pain as they are fighting. This past week I spoke to a bisexual advocate who seemed angry and disgruntled that many choose not to label themselves. She was quick to assert the “bisexual label” onto historical figures that, while may have expressed interest in more than one gender, they may not have personally identified that way either because they did not have the vocabulary to do so or they simply chose not to.
(Side note: Many figures also refrained from identifying with the LGBT+ community in fear of social stigma, but even excluding that group of individuals, many still went label-less for other reasons.)
Even today many members of the LGBT+ community identify with the term “queer” or without a label at all. So, to assume that historical figures were automatically bisexual raises some eyebrows. I, by no means, wish to straight-wash them, but I don’t think inherently labeling them as bisexual is fair to those who are queer-identifying or reject a label altogether, who are even less represented than bisexuals.
The individual I spoke to claimed that by rejecting a label at all, those individuals were complicit in biphobia, which simply is not the case.
Just as it is not true that bisexuality reinforces a simple two-gender binary, it is also not true that queer and sexuality-non-conforming individuals are biphobic.
The argument was made that those who shy away from a label see “bisexual” as a dirty word. It is true that many people in our world do have this viewpoint, but dismissing labels is not the same as fearing labels for society’s perception of them.
First, sexuality is fluid. Some choose not to embrace bisexuality as a label because it simply doesn’t fit. Sometimes, even, pansexual or any other label doesn’t fit. That’s because, on a day-to-day basis, one’s sexuality can change. It is not a permanent thing and can morph, grow, progress, or simply just be different throughout your life. Some people experience this fluidity more frequently than others, making it hard for them to feel identified.
Secondly, sexuality is perceived differently in various cultures and time periods. For example, the individual who made the initial claims regarding sexuality seemed to forget that in Greek and Roman times, sexuality was not as monitored or guarded. She swore that certain historical figures from that time period were bisexual, but the truth is: they never expressly said that and therefore we don’t even know if they would subscribe to a label at all. During the time period, multi-gender orgies and sexual exploration of all genders were extremely common with little to no persecution or stigma (with exceptions, of course).
Finally (or not-so-finally), how someone chooses to identify does not matter. You would think that as a bisexual-identifying person, someone would understand the importance of accepting however someone wants to identify (or doesn’t want to identity). The truth is there is an ever-growing list of reasons someone may choose to reject labels. Considering gender is a construct and sexuality is often built off of that construct, it should be no surprise that some choose to ignore the concept of labels altogether.
Basically, those who don’t want to subscribe to your belief of sexuality aren’t inherently biphobic; they just want to live their own lives. By washing queer and non-identifying individuals out of our narrative we further a divide in our community and overlook an entire group of people who deserve as much respect as the rest of us.