It Is OK To Put Your Family Second

It Is OK To Put Your Family Second

The "family first" mantra isn't applicable for all families.
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Here is some advice you never hear: It is OK to put your family second!

Yes, you heard that right. Our whole lives we are told family always comes first. At the end of the day, these are the people that are here for us and love and support us unconditionally. Right? Maybe not so much.

First of all, let’s break it down. My family is not the same as your family, his family or her family. Every single person has a different type of relationship with their family, so we cannot place the “family first” advice into a pretty little box and give it to the world in the same way.

Maybe you are the person with the super loving supportive family. They attended as many of your games and competitions as humanly possible, they made sure to be there on senior night, award banquets, college orientation, etc.

They do little things for you to make sure you feel special and loved, and remind you how intelligent, beautiful, and hardworking you are. They uplift you and encourage you. They never leave your side when you are struggling and need someone to talk to.

Maybe you are the person with a not-so-supportive family.

They made zero effort to support you when it came to school, sports, and extracurricular activities. They prioritized staying home over attending any of your games because they did not care enough to show their support even one time.

They put their needs before yours on several occasions. They spend 98% of their time focusing on making the rest of the family happy before giving you a single second of their time or attention. They make zero effort to show you how special and important you are to them. They make you feel neglected and unloved.

I am a firm believer in putting yourself first and prioritizing your happiness before tending to anyone else’s.

Do not get this confused with being selfish or uncaring because you absolutely can be selfless and loving while putting your happiness first at the same time.

At the end of the day, the only person you can guarantee will be there for you, is you.

Do not let anyone walk all over you, use you, or hurt your feelings for any reason. Even your family. You have to be strong and know your worth.

If you would not let a friend treat you a certain way, do not allow your parents to treat you in the same way simply because you know they are your parents and they are authoritative figures.

You have authority over your own life. You are also an authoritative figure, not just your mom and dad.

This is something I am incredibly passionate about. You dictate your own life. People do what they can to sway you, persuade you, and pressure you… at the end of the day, every choice we make in essence is our own.

Sometimes things happen to us that are completely out of our control, which is something completely different, but for the things you actually do have control over — take these opportunities to drive your life in the direction you want.

Not what your older brother wants. Not what your mom wants. Not what your dad wants. It is all about what you want.

Know that it is okay to put your family second. Disregard anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for wanting to put other people that matter more first-- whether it be friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or even yourself.

Just because the society we live in tells us putting family first is crucial does not mean you must follow suit. Do not be afraid to take a different direction and never feel guilty for doing what makes you happy!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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House Hunting At Its Finest

It's incredibly stressful and takes way too long!

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House hunting is hard. I thought at first it would be fun, exciting, and interesting. But now, I'm tired and bored and just want to give up.

I've been looking for a house for a month now and I knew it going in to it, it would take a while. I knew that I wouldn't just walk into the first house and be like, "this is it, this is the one".

But, when you look at 6-10 houses every time you search a day, it gets stressful and tiring.

When I started looking at houses it was because I was planning on getting a house with some friends to rent out for the next 3 years while at UCF. All because I didn't get a spot-on campus with the lottery, I got waitlisted. So, I need to look for housing to secure a place to live next fall.

Now, my dad wants to turn it into a small business. Buy a house, rent out the rooms for a reasonable price, cheaper than some apartments, and make a profit.

It sounds like a good plan.

But then you have to factor in: location and how far it is from campus, the price range in which you could make a profit, the number of bedrooms and bathrooms, the price per square inch, the property taxes, if the house needs work or not, upgrades, improvement, parking availability, etc. The list just goes on and on.

It's hard to find the "perfect" house.

I want to be able to make it "home" for the next 3 years. I want to make it somewhere where I can hang out, have friends over, and love to live in.

Every time I walk into a new house, I automatically think, "what would I do to this room? Or that?". I think of furniture and décor. I think about how I would design it and make it ours.

I even made a Pinterest board, one for home décor and one for bedrooms.

I feel like I'm going overboard but I can't help it.

I get excited when it comes to the designing aspect, but my parents have to be so nit-picky. They came up over the weekend to search for houses with me and every time we walk into a house I hear: "the carpet is stained, needs to be removed", "the kitchen is outdated, needs to be upgraded", "the bathroom needs work", "the wall has a hole", "not enough bathrooms" and so much more.

It's not like I don't chime in with comments either.

I do put in a fair share of my personal opinions about the quality of the houses too.

But, at this point I wish we could just settle on something. Again, I know this takes time but I just get anxious.

So, we are going into the 5thweek and still haven't agreed on a house. My mom has her picks, my dad has his, and I have mine. And none of them overlap. Frankly, I don't get a "say" in what my parents chose since they will be purchasing the house. But, I get to live in it, my friends are the ones who will be paying them rent. So, I feel like my opinion matters. Whenever I ask questions or give input, they talk over me.

As if, I wasn't even there!

Yet, that is how the ball rolled. Wow, I'm borderline whining over here. It's not like I'm not grateful but, I wish I was valued as an adult helping in this situation.

Well thank you for coming to my "TED" talk! And reading about yet another annoying and trivial struggle of mine. I'll write again soon.

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