It Is OK To Put Your Family Second

It Is OK To Put Your Family Second

The "family first" mantra isn't applicable for all families.
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Here is some advice you never hear: It is OK to put your family second!

Yes, you heard that right. Our whole lives we are told family always comes first. At the end of the day, these are the people that are here for us and love and support us unconditionally. Right? Maybe not so much.

First of all, let’s break it down. My family is not the same as your family, his family or her family. Every single person has a different type of relationship with their family, so we cannot place the “family first” advice into a pretty little box and give it to the world in the same way.

Maybe you are the person with the super loving supportive family. They attended as many of your games and competitions as humanly possible, they made sure to be there on senior night, award banquets, college orientation, etc.

They do little things for you to make sure you feel special and loved, and remind you how intelligent, beautiful, and hardworking you are. They uplift you and encourage you. They never leave your side when you are struggling and need someone to talk to.

Maybe you are the person with a not-so-supportive family.

They made zero effort to support you when it came to school, sports, and extracurricular activities. They prioritized staying home over attending any of your games because they did not care enough to show their support even one time.

They put their needs before yours on several occasions. They spend 98% of their time focusing on making the rest of the family happy before giving you a single second of their time or attention. They make zero effort to show you how special and important you are to them. They make you feel neglected and unloved.

I am a firm believer in putting yourself first and prioritizing your happiness before tending to anyone else’s.

Do not get this confused with being selfish or uncaring because you absolutely can be selfless and loving while putting your happiness first at the same time.

At the end of the day, the only person you can guarantee will be there for you, is you.

Do not let anyone walk all over you, use you, or hurt your feelings for any reason. Even your family. You have to be strong and know your worth.

If you would not let a friend treat you a certain way, do not allow your parents to treat you in the same way simply because you know they are your parents and they are authoritative figures.

You have authority over your own life. You are also an authoritative figure, not just your mom and dad.

This is something I am incredibly passionate about. You dictate your own life. People do what they can to sway you, persuade you, and pressure you… at the end of the day, every choice we make in essence is our own.

Sometimes things happen to us that are completely out of our control, which is something completely different, but for the things you actually do have control over — take these opportunities to drive your life in the direction you want.

Not what your older brother wants. Not what your mom wants. Not what your dad wants. It is all about what you want.

Know that it is okay to put your family second. Disregard anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for wanting to put other people that matter more first-- whether it be friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or even yourself.

Just because the society we live in tells us putting family first is crucial does not mean you must follow suit. Do not be afraid to take a different direction and never feel guilty for doing what makes you happy!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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To The Best Friend Every Girl Should Be Blessed Enough To Have

You definitely deserve all the love.

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I have not written this letter, but it has been on my list of "to write" for forever. She keeps asking when I will write one about her and every time I tell her, soon.

Well here it is. The truth on why it took so long? No words seem to do everything justice. No matter how I put them or how I want them to sound, the page always makes them look weird and they always sound lame.

But finally, here it is. Best friend, this one is for you.

First and foremost I will start with a holy cow. We have been best friends for only a short time because who knew your "in school friend" from all those math classes would actually turn into this? We put off hanging out outside of school for years, and finally, after suffering through all that algebra we decided enough was enough.

I wish we had sooner.

I wish I had gotten more time with you before we both moved away to college - but ill take whatever time I get with you because well… you're incredible.

Thank you.

Thank you for finally agreeing to hang out with me.

Thank you for listening to every rant ever - whether it was a paragraph long text, a 2 hour FaceTime call or an hour-long car ride.

Thank you for ordering planners with me and spending nights decorating them with me (we are such losers).

Thank you for letting me become a part of your family.

Thank you for going to Friendly's, IHOP and Target at the most ungodly hours.

Thank you for encouraging me in everything I do, and stopping me from making bad decisions.

Thank you for telling me the truth, despite if it hurt me or not, I know now you will never lie about your feelings towards someone (LOL).

Basically, thank you for everything you have done for me. You have made me a better person and you encourage me to be my best self every single day.

Moving on I want to make it clear how incredibly proud of you I am. I love getting texts from you about your love for your classes, and how you want to be president of this club and president of that. How you help out kids, and how you host events. I love hearing about your major and the classes you are so incredibly excited to take. Watching you be so passionate about what you are doing and becoming makes me want to feel the same way in everything I do.

I hope someday my kids are your students because, in your hands, I know they can change the world.

Last but not least, I love you. And you're stuck with me.

Love,

Your forever number one fan

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