Sometimes when I talk to other people about mental illness or I read posts online from other people, I see a common theme among the topics: if you are dealing with something, you just need to push through. I think a lot of coping and thriving with a mental illness takes a lot of trial and error. You have to know what you can handle, and what you cannot. You have to learn what you can do and what you can't. There is this trope, though, running through these posts and these conversations that appear again and again: Just push through.

Well, sometimes, pushing through is not always the best.

Time for a metaphor:

When someone breaks their leg, say a hairline or compound fracture, they are put in a cast (most of the time). The person is told to stay off their leg, use crutches, or a wheelchair, until their leg is more healed. It is only after a few weeks of rest that the person should begin putting weight on their foot again. It might be uncomfortable for a while, but little by little, they regain full mobility of their leg.

When someone has surgery, they are told to rest. Sometimes, they even have to stay in the hospital overnight, or for a few days after the surgery, before they are allowed to go home. They are given specific instructions on what to do, whether that is rest, no heavy lifting, and then some physical therapy later, something else.

At no point does someone look at a person with a broken leg or who has just had surgery and say, "You just need to push through. Come on, get up. You won't get better by just sitting there."

So why is mental illness not treated the same?

Sometimes, we need time. For me, it is not always beneficial to pull me out of my room when I am having a bad day or two. I know that I need time to myself. I need a moment to breathe and relax and be away from the overwhelming world around me. If someone were to pull me out of my room and make me go do something, I might actually break down in front of them.

Not everyone needs to be pushed all the time.

Why can't we allow ourselves time before we start pushing? Yes, after surgery and a broken foot there is a period of time when you are told to get up and get moving, go do something, but the overarching message is; don't overwork yourself. You are still healing.

There is a time and place to "push through" when you have a mental illness.

But I believe there also should be time allotted to take care of yourself the way you know best, without being told to just "be happy" or "go do something" or "you just need to push through".

Ultimately, you know what is best for you, the best way to help you heal. And if you don't, then perhaps you should consider seeing a therapist or other specialist that can help think of coping strategies and contingency plans for when your mental illness starts to affect your life.

Sometimes, though, we do not need other people to push us, if that is not what is best for us in that moment. And hearing someone say, "well you just need to push through" is not helpful in any way.