I am someone you might call “risk-adverse.”
I like things to stay the way they are. I find comfort in routine and familiarity, that is where I am happy.
I think I like being in a place where I feel comfortable because it takes me a while to adjust and warm up to new situations, people, and places. However, once I get over that awkward hurdle of adjustment it is most often that I enjoy myself. It is just taking the leap that is the challenging part to me.
I see the edge of the cliff of familiarity and suddenly I slow down, hesitate to take the leap into an unknown abyss.
I remember when I was younger and would go skiing, I would always favor the blue runs, more of a challenge than the beginner greens but not as daunting as what the Black Diamonds seemed. The blue runs were a happy medium for me, just enough of adrenaline but still manageable. I had the skill and ability to do fine on a Black Diamond but there was a bit of fear and unknown that always held me back from taking the ultimate jump.
Somehow though, when it came to choosing a college I had no fear, nothing was holding me back from taking a risk. There was a gut feeling from the very beginning that I would be picking myself up from the West Coast and head to the East Coast.
That is what I did. I decided to go to from one Washington to the other and have enjoyed myself. Although when I got to college, I sought out familiar activities to become involved in. I found ways to replicate significant pieces of my life I was used to back home in Seattle on campus.
I tutored all four-years of high school and I quickly found another tutoring programming to be a part of.
I was a tour guide in high school and quickly became a tour guide on campus.
I found comfort in my all-girls high school so I decided to join a sorority to replicate something close to the all-girls community I was still craving.
There was no risk involved in the things I was getting myself involved in. I was happy to become busy and am still happy to be busy doing these things now a year and a half into college. But what if I had been a little more daring? What if I had embraced potential risk? How would I have grown in new ways?
That last question will remain unanswered unless I start to take risks, and it is not too late.
A challenge I have put forth to myself is to take more risks and to be unafraid as I continue through college and hopefully I can make taking risks into a habit.
Albeit they will be calculated risks.
I recently came to this conclusion when I was looking ahead to my junior year and contemplating a few opportunities on campus along with studying abroad for a semester. On the surface, it seemed like if I took the “risk” of studying abroad I might lose out on two of the opportunities that were already known entities to me and I knew they would be things I would enjoy.
But something felt a little wrong. I questioned this decision, the chance to go abroad kept creeping back into my thoughts. When I asked two people in my life whose opinions I value highly, I brought up the topic of my risk aversion and how deep down I knew I couldn’t let a little fear of the unknown hold me back from studying abroad. As our conversations shifted to this, both agreed that I should go for this once in a life time opportunity to embrace something new and bold.
So now that I can start planning to take one risk in the future, I hope I can be more open to risk in the present too and in all areas of my life.
Sharing my opinion even if it may not be the popular one.
Taking the class that may not boost my GPA but is interesting to me.
Spending time with new and different people.
Taking advantage of new opportunities that come my way.
Intentionally turning down opportunities that would provide comfort in order to choose ones with more unknown.
I hope that I can begin to see new and different opportunities as fun adventures instead of lurking demons. I want to see what will happen if I step out further and further beyond the horizons of comfort I have created for myself.
I want to pull away the caution tape from my life.