Dear Professor,

Upon looking at my final grade for your class, I was met with immediate dismay. Sorrow and woe filled my heart to the very brim and I felt that soul crushing feeling of failure that I am NOT accustomed to feeling. How did I get a B? I don't want to sound entitled, but I deserve an A, and I usually get what I want so this is very disheartening for me right now. I tried my best, and I feel like that's all that should matter here, not the actual grades I received on projects, assignments, and quizzes leading up to this moment. The fact that I usually showed up, answered some questions, and participated the minimum number of times required should really reflect my valiant efforts and award me the A I so obviously deserve.

Okay, so maybe I didn't do all of those online assignments every week. But they're only worth like 2 percent of my grade and the due dates were too intense. EVERY Tuesday and Thursday? I have yogilates Monday and Wednesday nights, and doing homework after that would totally mess with my zen mind scape that I worked so hard to achieve during class. The readings were sort of depressing too. I have a pretty delicate soul, and reading about apartheid or starving babies in Africa was really going to inhibit my ability to ignore any problems that don't revolve around me. I really can't be asked to write A WHOLE PARAGRAPH about anything, because I am super busy with extracurricular activities like my charity work and my boyfriend.

Also, the final was too hard. I am not sure how, with my tiny girly hands and all, I was supposed to write three essays in an hour and a half. Especially when I have limited knowledge about the topics so I have to spend most of that time thinking of filler info to trick you into thinking I know stuff. That's pretty exhausting. I really don't know how people managed to finish those essays in the allotted time without some kind of divine intervention. Is divine intervention considered cheating?

Anyway, I really think you should reconsider the grade you gave me. I put in an adequate amount of work and time, and I think I should be rewarded. The work I did this semester was pretty blah, but I definitely feel like I deserve an A just for givin' it the good ol' "college try."

Thanks and have a great summer,

G. Mary Shamblin