Procrastinating isn’t a thing in college anymore—it’s essentially become impossible to procrastinate. You work so hard to finish what needs to be done, but you’re already ten steps behind on another task. This cycle just keeps going on and on.

At the end of every week, I already dread the upcoming week. Maybe this is due to the fact that I’m studying in a quarter system, but there is ALWAYS something to do.

Since I came to college, I feel like I’ve been working nonstop. Even though I’ve only been enrolled in three classes for the past two quarters and this quarter, I feel like I am so busy every minute of my day. I feel this immense pressure to finish certain tasks by a certain time, and if I don’t follow through, then my entire schedule just goes out the window.

It’s easy to give myself a break, but I can never completely break away from whatever task I was doing. When I’m eating alone or with friends, taking a shower, or watching Netflix, I can never do it with a calm sense of mind. The thought that I have work to do never fails to lurk in the back of my mind.

It’s to the point where I just want to give up, and I ask myself, “Why am I even working this hard? Is it even worth it?”

I feel like I’m in robot mode, and this is honestly so detrimental to my mental health and my treatment of others. When I’m in this mode, I become so indifferent to others and choose to prioritize my own needs (a.k.a to get work done), but this is such a selfish and inhumane way of thinking and acting.

In other words, the grind NEVER stops. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m so busy. Maybe it’s because I have a hard time prioritizing the things I need to do. It’s true that I’ve added on extracurriculars to my academics, but I don’t think it should be this hard. Seriously, if someone has a way of dealing with this, please tell me!!