*WARNING MATURE AND POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CONTENT*

"13 Reasons Why" is one of the most popular shows on Netflix that is based on the book by Jay Asher. The story revolves around Hannah Baker who takes her own life and leaves behind cassette tapes to the people she feels are responsible for her death. The show has raised a lot of controversies.

I read the books years ago and binge-watched the first season like many others. I slowly started watching the second season and should be finished with it before this article goes live. I think the story is an important one and I really appreciate how authentic the show is to real-world problems including suicide, hook-up and slut-shaming culture and sexual violence.

I think adults who have children or work with them should watch it because it is raw and addresses things that many teens experience in high school, but there are some things this show got wrong, and I really believe young people should not watch this on their own or until they are mature enough. The content is mature, possibly triggering and misleading.

1. Romanticizing suicide

The show portrays the character Clay Jensen as someone who is in love with Hannah even after her death. He fights in her honor and never truly gets over her. Although it is true that people who commit suicide are deeply cared for, expressing to teens that someone is going to love you intimately even after death is dangerous.

2. Targets too young an audience

I do believe this show had good intentions to bring attention to real-world issues and start important conversations. However, this show should then be advertised to adults rather than middle and high school-aged kids. They are not mature enough for the content, and their likelihood to binge-watch such sensitive content without the maturity to process it appropriately is taken advantage of.

3. Misleads kindness as a cure

The show makes it seem like if people were just a little "nicer" to Hannah she would still be alive. This just isn't true. Yes, we should all be kinder, and one small act of kindness could really help someone, but it does not replace the care needed for someone struggling like Hannah was. She needed an adult in her life to notice her suffering and professionally address it. The show generally ignores the signs of depression Hannah showed.

4. Too accessible

The show is rated TV-MA, for mature audiences only. A pretty ambiguous rating for such an intense, violent and adult show. Anyone can log onto Netflix and watch this show. I don't think it's appropriate for a 13 or 16-year-old to be able to watch this show with nobody's knowledge. They shouldn't be left to process this show on their own, and they shouldn't suffer if the adults in their lives fail to monitor them properly.

5. Discourages help-seeking habits

Mr. Porter, the school guidance counselor's, behavior is probably the biggest fail in the entire series. How he addressed Hannah was inappropriate and gives kids the idea that they can't trust adults with what they are going through. Seeing Mr. Porter's remorse in season 2 was reassuring but his character development came at a great cost. If the first adult doesn't help young people need to be taught to find another, not give up when one fails them.

6. Generally dismisses adults credibility

The show generally promotes the idea that adults cannot be trusted and will fail you. It has coaches who promote rape culture, principals and teachers who turn a blind eye to mental health questions and parents who are completely blind to their children's sufferings. Although adults are human and do fail, the adults in the show are the exception, not the norm. There is not a single adult in the show that stands as a good advocate for kids, and this is misleading for any young person needing help.

Yes, adults are human and sometimes plain ignorant of the problems kids face. However, this is not all adults and there are plenty of adults in the world who advocate and fight for kids. We should work together as adults to help put responsible adults in authority, not convince kids adults will fail them.

7. Message over safety

I understand that this show wanted to be real. It wanted to be authentic to the important topics it was addressing and in general make viewers uncomfortable in order to invoke change. However, I think the safety of its viewers should outweigh their intended message. Hannah's suicide and the rape scenes did not need to be displayed so graphically. At the least, a warning ad should pop up before those scenes to protect vulnerable people.

8. Victim blaming

This show is great at portraying the reality of victim blaming, particularly for women who have experienced rape or sexual violence. However, it offers no solution or way to change the problem. Across the board, it shows the problems how they are but does very little to express why this should and can be changed. The world can do better, and I think people need to know that. We already know the world is messed up.

9. Glamorizes suicide

If the romanticization of Hannah's suicide wasn't enough the show also glamorizes it. The biggest issue with the showis that it makes suicide seem like an easy way out, to get attention and to get revenge on those who have wronged you. These messages are absolutely unacceptable to be sending out to anyone, especially young and vulnerable teenagers. Teens should not be made to think if they commit suicide those who have wronged them will suffer or that they will live on forever. Suicide is permanent.

10. Skips Hannah's downfall

The show does a great disservice to all those suffering from a loss of a loved one. The show never shows how Hannah struggled before her death. No long days of depression or struggle to get out of bed. It simply shows how Hannah was bullied, she snapped and was then gone. There is more to the story. There is so much psychology the show skips over by simply making Hannah a girl on a revenge mission.

11. Offers little hope or help

Going off number 10, the show does very little to empower or help those suffering. With the launch of the second season, a resource page was added to the beginning of each season and the end of each episode. However, the show itself offers no light at the end of the tunnel or help for teens or adults who may be struggling with similar problems. There is no adult who helps out the kids, parent who notices their struggling child or student who stands up for another appropriately. We deserve better.

12. Makes an elaborate show of a suicide

Many professionals have expressed concern with Hannah's elaborate plan that required so much impulse control, planning and thought. Most people who commit or attempt suicide would not have the control under so much emotional distress to record the tapes, seek out revenge and then end their life. The way Hannah does this is misrepresentative of those who actually contemplate or perform suicide.

13. No change

After Hannah's suicide there is no change in the school environment if anything it gets much worse. The students continue to struggle with depression, guilt, sexual violence, drug and alcohol abuse as well as other serious issues. And nobody addresses them. The students don't change or support one another in such a hard time. They rather gang against one another. This is both unrealistic and discouraging to what normally happens after such a loss of a community.

Suicide, sexual violence, drug use, violence and gun use are very serious topics. They affect nearly everyone in one way or another and should be addressed with care, compassion and dignity. This show fails to do that. I appreciate it wants to bring attention to the harsh realities of the world that young people in particular face every day.

However, it failed to do so responsibly. Viewers and those suffering deserve better. They deserve a show that expresses hope, ways for change, access to resources and empowerment in recovery. If your an adult and watch the show I encourage you to do so with caution and seek someone to discuss the mature content with. If you are a child I encourage you to wait until you are older to watch. If you are a parent or guardian I encourage you to watch with your child, if they are watching, and make sure they understand and can process the content.

If you need resources check out https://13reasonswhy.info/ which includes discussion guides, hotlines and other help aids. You matter. You are loved. You would be missed. Please stay.