No, All Pro-Life People Don't Hate Women

No, All Pro-Life People Don't Hate Women

Demonizing almost half of the nation as anti-women is counterproductive and unfair.

In recent weeks, the Democratic party has made headlines and sparked outrage by announcing that they were willing to fund candidates who oppose abortion rights.

While I appreciate and generally support the central point of this outrage--that an issue as important to many women, especially those from poor and disadvantaged backgrounds, as reproductive freedom is not something on which any purportedly progressive party can compromise--much of the rhetoric surrounding the outrage disturbs me.

The primary point of this outrage, like much of the Left's arguments surrounding abortion, is that to be "pro-life" is to be, automatically and without exception, anti-woman. Not only is that not really a fair statement, it also makes the Left sound smug and uncompromising, which we have been accused of being many times in the past. It also vastly oversimplifies a complicated issue.

Personally, I am pro-choice for many reasons. I know that regardless of whether there are laws preventing it rather than allowing it, many poor and desperate women will attempt to perform abortions anyway, only these would be much more dangerous and would pose much greater threats to the woman's health.

I also think that the point at which an embryo or fetus becomes a human being is a very individual question whose answer is oftentimes derived from one's religious views and that the government has no place in making that determination for all women.

I think the best ways to reduce abortions is to provide aid to struggling women and make birth control and other contraceptives more easily accessible. The best way is certainly not to criminalize something that almost 60% of adults think should be legal in all or most cases.

And, yes, I support a woman's right to bodily autonomy. However, I do not think that dismissing people who identify as "pro-life" as being anti-women is a fair summation of their beliefs or arguments.

To say that people who are not pro-choice are only not so because of a deep-rooted vendetta against women and their liberties is not a fair summation of their beliefs or arguments.

The truth is most people who identify as "pro-life" do not do so out of a desire to deprive women of their rights or out of a desire to control women's lives. Polling suggests that men and women express similar beliefs on abortion, and within my own life, almost all of my friends who are most vocally and passionately anti-abortion are female.

This does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that abortion is not still a women's rights issue or that internalized misogyny or outright sexism don't play a role in some individuals' views on abortion.

What it does mean is that those on the Left need a new, more fair, more compassionate response to "I'm opposed to abortion rights" than "WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN????"

To continue to oversimplify this issue while demonizing almost half of the nation as anti-women is counterproductive and unfair. It only feeds into the Right's narrative of us as being smug.

Cover Image Credit: Wiki Media Commons

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Saying You "Don't Take Political Stances" IS A Political Stance

All you're doing by saying this is revealing your privilege to not care politically, and here's why that's a problem.


I'm sure all of us know at least one person who refuses to engage in political discussions - sure, you can make the argument that there is a time and a place to bring up the political happenings of our world today, but you can't possibly ignore it all the time. You bring up the last ridiculous tweet our president sent or you try to discuss your feelings on the new reproductive regulation bills that are rising throughout the states, and they find any excuse to dip out as quickly as possible. They say I don't talk about politics, or I'm apolitical. Well everyone, I'm here to tell you why that's complete bullsh*t.

Many people don't have the luxury and privilege of ignoring the political climate and sitting complacent while terrible things happen in our country. So many issues remain a constant battle for so many, be it the systematic racism that persists in nearly every aspect of our society, the fact that Flint still doesn't have clean water, the thousands of children that have been killed due to gun violence, those drowning in debt from unreasonable medical bills, kids fighting for their rights as citizens while their families are deported and separated from them... you get the point. So many people have to fight every single day because they don't have any other choice. If you have the ability to say that you just don't want to have anything to do with politics, it's because you aren't affected by any failing systems. You have a privilege and it is important to recognize it.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

We recognize that bad people exist in this world, and we recognize that they bring forth the systems that fail so many people every single day, but what is even more important to recognize are the silent majority - the people who, by engaging in neutrality, enable and purvey the side of the oppressors by doing nothing for their brothers and sisters on the front lines.

Maybe we think being neutral and not causing conflict is supposed to be about peacekeeping and in some way benefits the political discussion if we don't try to argue. But if we don't call out those who purvey failing systems, even if it's our best friend who says something homophobic, even if it's our representatives who support bills like the abortion ban in Alabama, even if it's our president who denies the fact that climate change is killing our planet faster than we can hope to reverse it, do we not, in essence, by all accounts of technicality side with those pushing the issues forward? If we let our best friend get away with saying something homophobic, will he ever start to change his ways, or will he ever be forced to realize that what he's said isn't something that we can just brush aside? If we let our representatives get away with ratifying abortion bans, how far will the laws go until women have no safe and reasonable control over their own bodily decisions? If we let our president continue to deny climate change, will we not lose our ability to live on this planet by choosing to do nothing?

We cannot pander to people who think that being neutral in times of injustice is a reasonable stance to take. We cannot have sympathy for people who decide they don't want to care about the political climate we're in today. Your attempts at avoiding conflict only make the conflict worse - your silence in this aspect is deafening. You've given ammunition for the oppressors who take your silence and apathy and continue to carry forth their oppression. If you want to be a good person, you need to suck it up and take a stand, or else nothing is going to change. We need to raise the voices of those who struggle to be heard by giving them the support they need to succeed against the opposition.

With all this in mind, just remember for the next time someone tells you that they're apolitical: you know exactly which side they're on.


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