Let's Talk About Emotions

Let's Talk About Emotions

Ew, right? Well, I don't mean the touchy-feely kind, I mean the general sense of the word.

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There's a lot going on in my life. In fact, I'm sure there's a lot going on in your life as well. You may even be ignoring some of those things right this very second as you read my article—in which case, thanks for stopping by! But if college has taught me anything (it's taught me many things, but this one is important) it's how to prioritize. Prioritizing goes right along with time management and that sort of thing, but what I'm specifically talking about in this article is prioritizing and choosing what to do with your emotions.

Some people have many emotions, some people have few, and some people seem to have an adequate amount. But one thing is the same among all people: we all have a certain emotional capacity that we cannot overload or we will have a mental breakdown. I'm sure you've all experienced this at one point or another, especially being in college, but what if I told you that there was a way you could have fewer mental breakdowns?

"But Celine, we don't get to choose how we feel..."

Oh, really? That's where you're wrong. You are completely in control of your emotions, how you feel, and how you let others "make" you feel. With knowledge comes power, so with the power to control your own emotions you can basically keep tabs on your emotional capacity and do your best to keep it below the boiling point. I know it's hard to control how you feel, so you should allow yourself to feel whatever you feel whenever you feel it, but be willing to let things go if they are harmful or unnecessary.

Letting go is hard, and sometimes it feels like we are giving up, but your well being should come before your pride EVERY TIME! Let me give you an example:

Once I had plans to get dinner with a friend of mine after I got off work. As soon as my shift ended, I went over to the restaurant, got a table, and waited. I told the waiter I wouldn't order until she arrived so I just sat at the table alone for a good half hour. My phone died and I wasn't able to contact her so I used a coworkers phone to call her and it went straight to voicemail—her phone was dead too. After about an hour of waiting, I'd lost faith and ordered my food to go. As soon as I paid for my food and was walking out, she breathlessly came running through the door. She, almost tearfully, explained to me that she took a nap, but set an alarm to wake herself up in time for dinner—however, her phone died so her alarm didn't go off.

If this were a movie, I would've been mad and it would've tested our friendship in some incredibly dramatic way. But, to be quite honest, I didn't want that unnecessary anger. Even though I could've been mad, there was no reason to be because what happened wasn't her fault and she had no malicious intent. So I made the choice not to be angry, and my emotional capacity still had plenty of room for emotions that were necessary.

I'm not trying to downplay anyone's feelings, if you feel something then it is a valid feeling, but that doesn't mean it is something you need to feel. Being angry at my friend for something out of her control was completely pointless so, even though I was angry at first when she stood me up, I quickly let that needless emotion go when she explained the situation.

Along with deciding what emotions are not important, you must be able to discern which are. Feelings you have to really think about typically include anger, sadness, and everything related (always let yourself feel whatever happiness comes into your life—you deserve it). You should allow yourself to feel sad for a healthy amount of time, but you still need to know when to let that sadness go—you need to let it go when it is no longer useful or necessary. You cannot grow from sadness or anger, only from how you overcame the situations that caused those emotions.

If you pay attention to nothing else in this article, know this: your emotions are valid

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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When Heaven Gains Someone You Love

You'll feel like they're gone too soon and wish you spent more time with them while you could.

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Losing a loved one is never easy, it's probably one of the hardest things we go through in our lives. There's nothing like losing someone you love after they pass and it changes you forever.

You may feel so many mixed emotions when it happens, that's really normal to have the ups and downs during grief. You'll feel lost, broken, and so much more. You may wish you could've changed it before it got to that point. Maybe it even happened on a day where it's supposed to be special but now you dread that day every single year.

You'll feel like it's not fair. Maybe even think "Why does this have to happen to me?" You'll feel like they're gone too soon and wish you spent more time with them while you could. You'll wonder about the last words you said to them and maybe even wish you could take them back or wish you could have said goodbye. You'll wish for just one more hug or one more kiss before they left.

You'll wonder how God who is supposed to be so great can take someone so special and important away from you before anyone was ready to say goodbye. You won't believe it, not for a while. It won't seem real to you that they're actually gone. It'll be like a piece of your heart just got torn out and stomped on the ground. You may even feel empty inside for a while. You may even feel like you won't ever have that piece of your heart back again because that's their piece.

There will be days where you might not even think about it eventually, and there will be days where it's all you think about. There will be days that it's so hard for you that you won't even want to get out of bed because it hurts so bad. There will be days where you smile for everything.

Eventually, it does get better. As time goes on, the pain starts to hurt less and less. Their memory will always be with you and then they become your strength. You'll remember all the long talks to help you in your life, the talks about your future, the talks about just random things. You'll smile about all the memories, the trips, and vacations together, the holidays, everything.

These are the things that will help you get through the hard times. Just remembering the good times with them and doing everything possible to have them be proud of you while watching down on you.

Nothing compares to losing someone you love to soon. There may have been so many unfinished conversations that needed to happen or memories you should have made. But the important thing is to remember the good memories and just smile because they impacted your life so much. Time will heal all pain. Pain is temporary, but the memories last forever.

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