October is domestic abuse awareness month. One in four women and one in seven men will experience a form of domestic abuse from a partner in their life. I just so happened to be the one in those four women. I was in an abusive relationship on and off for a year and a half; this is a poem I wrote about that experience. The following piece contains sensitive content; read at your own discretion.

Primary Colors

yellow.

yellow, the color of the stars the night that we stayed out a little too late and talked about the future.

yellow, the way your skin looked under those streetlights while we walked around the city at nighttime.

yellow, the twinkle in your eyes when you told me you loved me.

yellow, the color of the blankets were under on my bed when you told me you wanted me for the rest of your life.

yellow.

the color my bruises turned.

red.

red, the color of our hearts, beating together as one.

red, the color of our lips, moving effortlessly down one another, leaving tender kisses.

red, the color of the love bites I left on your body.

red, the color of lipstick you always said you loved so much on me.

red.

the color of my blood that came out of the lacerations you left on my body.

blue.

blue, the color of my eyes. you once told me that they were an ocean you wouldn't care if you got lost in.

blue, you were scared of oceans and I wish I would've paid attention to that when you said you saw the world in me.

blue, the color underneath my eyes after you had a rough night, "I'm just tired".

blue, the color of my lips after we would kiss because I swear to God you were trying to take the life out of me.

blue, my mood when I was around you.

blue, the color of all of the bruises you would leave on my body.

primary colors.

primary. exactly what I wasn't to you.

colors. you told me you saw the sea in my eyes and the universe in my mind.

you loved color so much.

is that why you always left so much on me?

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please get help.

Domestic abuse 24-hour hotline: 877-988-5559.