So, last night I had an interesting dream. Well, nightmare really. A nightmare dressed like a dream. Let me preface this by saying that I am like 90% sure I've already had this dream before. Although before, it was actually a dream and this time, it turned into a nightmare.
First of all, you should probably know that dreams are extremely important to me. Some mean nothing, but some are usually signs or things my subconscious is trying to tell me. Most people know that I like to call myself clairvoyant. This really just means that sometimes my dreams are related to reality and I have a really strong intuition. Apparently, it runs in my family. According to my dad, people used to call my grandmother a "bruja," which means "witch" in Spanish. Spooky. Anyways, the dream. Nightmare. It opened in this huge, rundown house, almost like an abandoned haunted mansion. Spooky vibes except some producers were hosting a show there, somewhat like The Bachelor.
All these men and women started showing up, all of the varying looks, personalities, and ages. We started to gather in the main living room and sat in a circle and just started chatting. In my mind (as I'm thinking to myself within the dream, weird, right?), I am thinking that this is just the "Audition/ Get to Know Everyone and the Producers," part of the show. Like the day before school starts when everyone comes for a half day and finds out where their lockers are and what homeroom teacher they have.
Anyways, so we are all just chillin and getting to know each other and everyone else is wearing like full face cake and cute outfits, while I am just comfortably wearing leggings and an oversized tee, sans makeup. Now, this is how I look for about 80% of my life. How I look in class, at work, going to Publix, etc. I am either not wearing an ounce of makeup or have a full face on. There's no in between. So, as I am thinking in my dream, that this is just kind of like a rehearsal day, I go with the chill vibe. Then, all of a sudden, the producers pull out cameras and start filming us interacting with each other.
THEY ARE FILMING THE SHOW! I literally look like I rolled out of bed and this will be on television for the entire world to see!!!! And on top of that, everyone else looks GREAT. Like about to step onto a red carpet great. The experience in the dream was so shocking I actually woke up. Yes, like in the movies, I woke up in a cold sweat, only to realize that it was thankfully just a dream.
Although it was just a dream/nightmare, it got me thinking about how I present myself daily. In general, the college culture apparel is athleisure, especially in Florida when its a good day if it stays under 90 degrees. It's a rare day if I put on makeup for class or work and dress the part to match. When I do, I am always complimented, although in shocked tones, on how good I look that day. Why do I do this? Comfort for sure, but it's not like a lot of my clothes are uncomfortable. I imagine it looks like I don't care enough to put on real clothes for the things I have to do that day. That's pretty shitty, right? I don't want to look like I don't care. Most of the time I do care.
Although people don't like to admit it, we are all judgmental. When you first meet someone, you instinctively judge them on their looks. And although the thought of leaving college and getting a big girl job seems scarier than this nightmare, it will inevitably happen (let's hope). I will actually have to present myself like a normal, classy, working woman. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm not going to wait for that moment. I'm going to start now. Because, as my mother always likes to remind me as I walk out of the door looking like a human trash can, you never know who you might see out there.