Pre-Celebration Blues

Pre-Celebration Blues

Reasons why I haven't been excited by my upcoming birthday.

Every year I feel like a mid-life crisis occurs on my birthday.

The smallest setbacks send my emotions into a doom-and-gloom territory.

Anything from others' birthdays being right before or after mine, to not booking plans exactly when I wanted to, makes me not want to celebrate.

Before my birthday I'm a complete bratty mess. "I want it done NOW!" "Mine! Mine! Mine!" "Now! Now! Now!" Then when I start to see others happily celebrating their birthdays right before my own, I get severely depressed and go through the motions till a few days after my birthday. The rest of the year is dedicated to regret and making plans that again won't go through on my next birthday.

Planning ahead is something I've always lived for, and yet the one thing I cannot follow through on.

I feel like that's one of the things that depresses me about my birthday the most; thinking of all the things I planned for and wanted to accomplish, but yet here comes another year of that desire not being fulfilled.

I notice that the majority of people who don't make plans in life receive all that life has to offer. Good paying jobs, networking opportunities, love, their own houses, cars, endless friendships. Those of us who consciously make plans to get the things others get easily are forever receiving only crumbs when we were working towards the cake.

This makes me want to do a study on if certain personality types are prone to shittier lives. Is there a correlation between those who don't get ahead in life and their birth sign? At what point does one just chuck their life plans and go with the flow like everybody else?

But I digress.

February 1st will be my 37th birthday and already my depression is in full effect. I wake up every day in brat mode and by mid-afternoon, I'm a depressed mess. What's wrong with me? Getting another year older doesn't excite me like it used to.

I looked forward to my 18th birthday because I was FINALLY considered an adult and could legally escape my childhood home and traumas.

Though I don't drink alcohol or dance, my 21st birthday meant I could finally join my friends when they went out to bars and clubs.

At 25, I could finally rent a car so I could travel wherever and whenever I wanted.

However, once I reached my 31st birthday, I had not become a published author like I'd dreamed of becoming since I was a small child. I hadn't received my Bachelor's degree. I wasn't married. I still live paycheck to paycheck. Since then, every birthday has been the current routine of brattiness followed by depression and regret.

So is this it? Since everything I looked forward to didn't happen in my timeframe now every birthday henceforth is like, "Meh. Who cares?"

The few great birthdays I've had was my 25th birthday, my 30th birthday and my 35th birthday.

When I turned 25 I got my first tattoo - despite my fear of needles. I also was completely spoiled by endless female strip dances!

When I turned 30, my friends helped me throw myself a Twilight Saga themed birthday bash! Complete with movie marathon viewings, playing an interactive Twilight Board game, and a surprise customized cake (because two of my friends are custom cake makers - plug for Kake Kingz!)

When I turned 35, one of my friends helped me arrange to watch a private live lesbian sex show! Took me back to wild days as a teenager and early 20's!

Should I just alternate between being a voyeur at all-girl sexcapades and Twilight saga remembrances for the rest of my life? As fun as those things were, in the grand scheme of my life, partying like that every year feels childish and a bit selfish to me.

I want my birthday to mean more to me than just that one sliver of personal indulgence that I can't get regularly.

I have a great itch to travel, and despite my awful preplanning skills before and throughout, I've managed to visit Columbus, New York City, and Cincinnati multiple times, in addition to traveling to Toledo, Philadelphia, and Chicago.

I have Forks Washington (come on, I'm a Twilight FANATIC - I have to see the place the saga was based!), Washington D.C., Amherst, Massachusetts, Ellis Island, and Paris on my Traveling Bucket List.

I also have to finish getting the second tattoo I have (that I started on my 35th birthday) completed, and get the five more I want.

I want to eat New York Pizza again, eat Chicago's Deep Dish Pizza again, and try every dish offered at Gordough's in Austin, Texas.

Sounds like good goals right? So why am I still not feeling like celebrating?

Cover Image Credit: Kimberly Steele

Popular Right Now

Some Thoughts On Snow In Farmville

Remember, you can't spell "Snow" without "NO."

I'm starting to wonder if the first day back at Longwood is cursed. Remember, you can't spell "Snow" without "NO."

Granted, we've only had significant snow on the first day of Spring semester and the first day after Spring break, but that's a heck of a coincidence.

I have noticed, however, that when there is inclement weather, it tends to elicit (at least what I would consider) strange reactions in Farmville.

Allow me to break down the process of a snow day (or snow scare!) in Farmville:

1. There are weather reports of a possible snowstorm that Farmville would be in the wake of.

2. It blows up on social media, students clamor for a snow day.

3. The snow starts.

4. The school has to make a choice about whether to close or not.

5. Students react.

It kind of baffled me earlier this semester and this past Monday when everyone was shouting for a snow day before it actually snowed. I lived in New Jersey for eight years, where, like the rest of the north, you wait for the snow to come before panicking.

The idea of calling a snow day before it actually snows (or at least before some incredibly ominous clouds roll in) is extremely strange to me. Second, it was really weird that people wanted a snow day for the first day of school and for the first day back after break.

What are you afraid of, syllabus day? Beyond that, you paid a lot of money for classes, don't you want to get your dollars' worth?

I actually think Longwood handled the cancelation of the first two days of this semester really well: there were reports of snow, snow started coming in the night before, they canceled school. As it snowed all day, the next day was canceled as well. I think that given the several inches of snow we got, in a rural town in the south, it was the correct call.

However, I disagree with how this past Monday was handled. It snowed pretty steadily for most the day, and the ground (including pavement) was eventually covered. School officially closed at 4PM, but I honestly think that's a bit of a moot point.

Yes, there are still classes that run after that (I had one that was canceled), but if you had to come to campus, you already did. I'm not a commuter, but I don't think there was enough consideration given to commuters coming (and leaving) campus with the weather. Specifically, I mean commuters who live a significant distance away (as opposed to those on High Street two seconds from campus), who had to drive on barely plowed roads.

The other issue I have with late closing (as opposed to a full day off) in regards to snow is that our campus is simply not equipped to handle snow (or ice, for that matter).

Waiting for the FAB by the library? There's no heating or cover. Walking on the sidewalk? Hope you don't slip (we don't need to salt the sidewalk most of the time so we don't). Hanging out outside? There's no covered seating. It goes on, but the reality is that our campus is not equipped to snow because, generally speaking, we don't need to be.

That's why when it does, I think that in most cases, we don't have a realistic option of holding classes.

I'm not sure what the solution is, or if there is a better one, but I think that recent experiences with snow can help guide better choices for the future.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

15 'VeggieTales' Songs You Definitely Never Forgot

Brb, off to make my Spotify playlist of all these jams!

When I was little, VeggieTales and the songs that come from it were my jam. My sisters and I owned several CDs of Larry’s Silly Songs, and we knew them all by heart. Recently, I’ve had conversations with a few friends about favorite VeggieTales songs. To remind everyone of those favorite VeggieTales songs from long ago, here are 15 you definitely never forgot!

1. "The Hairbrush Song"

This song was constantly sung in my house growing up. I mean, with a houseful of girls, it’s not surprising that we were constantly looking for or talking about hair brushes. Fortunately, none of us had to come to the same sad realization as Larry.

2. "The Water Buffalo Song"

Don’t you know, everyone has a water buffalo? With the little props and the interrupted song, this one is classic Larry and his Silly Songs.

3. "I Love My Lips"

Not going to lie, this song gets stuck in my head more times than I would like to admit. Larry jumping around, exclaiming how much he loves his lips, is iconic. Honestly, I want to be as passionate about something as Larry is about his lips.

4. "Promised Land"

I love that the promised land centers around food. To be fair, my promised land would also center around food.

5. "His Cheeseburger"

Every college student can relate to this song since it’s literally just a song all about food. I would sing songs to and about my favorite food any day.

6. "Endangered Love (Barbara Manatee)

Once again, Larry is me; I am Larry. Singing about your favorite soap opera character? I’m so down.

7. "Good Morning, George"

This song is another classic in my house. It was especially relevant in the morning since I’m not a morning person and my dad is. He would wake me up by sing-yelling down the hall, “Good morning, George, how are you?” Needless to say, I was never “feeling fine.”

8. "Oh Santa"

VeggieTales has everything covered, and Christmas is no exception! An ode to Santa where everyone except the IRS person is let in? Sounds like my type of song (also no, I don’t just let robbers into my house, don’t worry).

9. "Song of the Cebu"

The slide projector in this video is my favorite. When was the last time you saw one of those? Not to mention Larry’s picture narration is amazing. He sounds like every person just getting back from an amazing vacation.

10. "Oh No! What We Gonna Do?"

Yikes, Daniel better look out. Also, bad guys singing songs and dancing? Reminds me of West Side Story.

11. "God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man"

Frankenstein sings along with Bob, Larry, and Junior in this song, and if that doesn’t appeal to you then I don’t know what will! Plus, everyone is just so happy in this one.

12. "Dance of the Cucumber"

Dramatic Larry and interpreting Bob, what a killer combo. Plus Larry casually insulting Bob and getting him to translate it is pure genius.

13. "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"

Every lazy person’s dream is to be one of these pirates. Also, I’m thinking about making Larry’s list of things he’s never done a new bucket list. Thoughts?

14. "Stuffmart Rap"

I know this isn’t real rap, but it’s the closest I get to listening to rap music. I’ll take two of everything, please!

15. "Keep Walking"

I love that the pea guards think they’re so scary. I mean, they’re peas!

Brb, off to make my Spotify playlist of all these jams!

Cover Image Credit: flickr

Related Content

Facebook Comments