Almost every religious person has been in this situation: you pray for something, maybe even every night. It's something that you feel like needs to happen- gaining admission to a certain college, curing a family member's illness, or bettering a tough financial situation. All of these are very valid prayers, it's not like you're asking for the newest iPhone or those Gucci shoes that you HAVE to have. It's something that you know in the bottom of your heart needs to happen- but then it doesn't.
During this time, many people begin to lose faith in God or question His intentions, I know I did. Afterall, why would a God with pure intentions invoke such hardship?
This thought process enveloped the way I viewed religion; I never questioned the presence of God but I definitely questioned His intentions. I couldn't understand how a world with mass genocide, famine, and discrimination could ever involve the presence of a good God.
Now admittedly, my prayers were never that deep. Usually, it involved getting an A on a test or a family member getting better but every day I continued to put question into my faith. I began to develop a mindset that it's okay to be religious without remaining faithful. And that's where I was wrong.
Being religious without staying faithful is like driving without a license - it just doesn't work like that.
You can't test drive a car before putting in the work to earn your license and continuing to renew it. Similarly, you can't be faithful to God without continually renewing your faith in God.
You may not understand your intentions, I know I sure as hell didn't (oops, sorry). But that's OKAY. If my journey in finding my faith has taught me anything, it's that sometimes it's better just not to know- and that's coming from a Type-A girl who always has to be in control.
But seriously, it's okay to be lead blindly by God: to put your faith wholeheartedly in Him that you may not understand why something happened, but you know that God is intentional in his plan for you.
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."