I've come to rain on your parade and let you know, all that positive thinking, is probably doing jack squat. I know anything related to self-help tells you to think positive, that if you believe in yourself you could change your life.
Well, I'm calling bullshit. I'm sorry, but you can probably stop repeating whatever pep talk you're giving yourself now.
I'm not trying to bash into the whole idea of positive thinking though. Don't get me wrong, I will sometimes sit there and tell myself I can do it, but I also realize that that isn't going to be enough. The positive thinking is held on the surface.
You can say it, you can believe it all you want, but those thoughts aren't who you actually are.
I want to be a published writer someday. I want to write novels and have people love them and buy them. However, I'm incredibly insecure about my writing. I'll write and delete or I'll jump from one project to another because I'm unsure of myself. I'm sure someday if I work hard enough and have the right people helping me I could get there. I could end up with a published book. Will my positive thinking get me there? No. It's not going to be all those positive things I tell myself aren't who I actually am.
Positive thinking can even backfire.
You're about to do something your nervous about, you continuously tell yourself that you can do it, that everything is going to be fine. What happens when it goes wrong? When it didn't go as planned, and you couldn't do it? It can leave you feeling pretty bummed out.
Step number one, realize that you're positive thoughts are not going to cut it.
I'm not saying to be pessimistic, but realistic. Understand that it's okay to have some doubts, and it's okay to fail. You just have to be willing to try again.
There is something called interrogative self-talk. Turn those worries into questions. Ex. What if [insert worst case scenario here] does happen? Am I willing to do what it takes? How will I deal with this if it comes up? etc. You're no longer just worrying, you're problem-solving.
You can also try to rephrase your positive thoughts. Step back and remember that this is what you want to believe. Do you want to be successful? Do tell yourself you will be. Tell yourself that you're going to try your hardest, but you're only a work in progress. If you fail, you will learn something new and try again.
I want you all to stay positive. I'm not telling you all this to make it seem like you're never going to accomplish what you want to. I'm telling you in hopes that it helps. I want you to reach your goals, I do believe in you.
Now it's time to believe in yourself. Rephrase your positive pep talks so you remember you're a work in progress and that you're trying. Break down what you want and turn your fears into questions, problem solve.
Make a plan. It's much easier to go after something when you try to map out how you want to get there. Yes, it's going to take some work, but you're more likely to get where you want to be if you put in the effort than just telling yourself it's magically going to happen.
I do have to give some credit to whoever came up with positive thinking. To the person who pushed the self-help idea of just telling yourself you can do something. A couch potato like myself really would like to think that if I can just tell myself something, and I'm somehow going to be able to actually do it.
No one really wants to hear the underlying truth about the work that actually has to go into it.
I'm curious, how does positive thinking work for all of you? Do you really think it's just the positive thinking, or the work you put into as well? Let me know if any of this information helped.