This is a topic that I find myself talking about more frequently than I would like. It is simply the fact that my generation of black men were not raised like how they used to be. I hear older generations of black men talking about their relationships now and how they got there, and how they would court a girl and ask them to go on dates. Nowadays a a guy will simply say, "what are you on?" and expect a girl to go with them and be theirs. There is not a process anymore, the guy doesn't think that he should have to work to be in a relationship with a girl anymore. There are simply just a lot of bums out here who are not doing anything for themselves and cocky guys who think they are all of that, who try to get these girls who are on their A game.

Dating is supposed to be a process. If a guy is interested in a girl, he should not be able to date her seriously before he meets the girls parents and gets their parents blessing. Now saying this, it is on him to go about this and to set that up. If the guy gets the blessing he then should follow by taking the girl out on a series of dates. There is not a "certain time frame" in which this should happen, but it should be something that takes a long time. If a guy really cares about a girl he will be patient and take all the time that is needed for a girl to want to let him meet her parents and to continue to work to be in serious relationship.

Now speaking from experience, I would definitely say that a girl should not settle for a guy. That is something that I have done in the past, and that is not something that will never end well. If you lower your standards and/or do not have standards that you live by, then you will always come out short in a relationship. You need to be comfortable within yourself and by yourself, before you can expect to be truly happy with a significant other.

Your significant other should be your compliment. A man should compliment you, not complete you. In saying this not all guys are like this. A girl just has to do her and trust and believe that God will put that special person in her life. You can not try to force relationships to work, and you can not make somebody something that they are not. Therefore if you are settling and unhappy with a guy, but just waiting, hoping that things will change, you need to jump ship, because he will never change, and you will never be happy.

I am currently single and taking advantage of this time I have to get to learn myself better, and to work on setting up and maintaining the standards that I wish to uphold for myself when it comes to males. I think that everybody should take this time to self evaluate, and always remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. It is not the end of the world to be single. Learn to love yourself first, because then you will be best able to give comfort and love to others.