14 Women Share Their Views On Talking Politics On First Dates
Start writing a post
Swoon

14 Women Share Their Views On Talking Politics On First Dates Around The 2020 Election

For many, talking politics on first dates is becoming less taboo.

4350
14 Women Share Their Views On Talking Politics On First Dates Around The 2020 Election

Ah the roaring 20s, am I right? Yikes. During what feels like an endless year, we began facing a pandemic, joined Black Lives Matter protests, saw counter-protests, witnessed increased political division, voted in a historic election, and more. Because of this, the difficult reality of our country naturally became a main topic of our daily conversations with family and friends, social media posts, and, of course, even those we are (or were) dating.

On the one hand, some people argue disassociating with someone or not dating them because of their political views is close-minded, others believe political views directly reflect one's morals and beliefs, which could really make or break a relationship. For this reason, talking politics on first dates isn't so taboo anymore — at least for many.

In fact, one expert named Jennifer Wexler actually recommends you do talk politics on a first date to get a sense of who the person you're with really is and whether you're compatible in the long run (particularly if certain beliefs are dealbreakers for you). Interested to learn more about how people feel about talking politics on first dates — particularly whether their feelings have changed leading up to the 2020 Election and how it will change after — I chatted with 14 women, and here's what they had to say:

1.

"The months leading up to the election didn't change my thoughts because I have always thought it's important to talk freely about whatever you want — you're not trying to impress someone, you're trying to see if you are a good match and want to spend time together. I don't think any topic should be off-limits on any first date. It really depends on the vibe and connection you have, but if you really want to see a relationship go somewhere, I think it's so important to talk about politics and your morals." — Jennifer Kustanovich

2.

"Yes and no, I didn't want to talk about it simply because the election gives me so much anxiety but also I would rather know someone's political views upfront rather than learn later on they may have political views that harm communities I am a part of." — Amitoj Kaur

3.

"The months leading up to the 2020 Election didn't change my 'no politics on a first date' policy at all. I feel political affiliation and beliefs are so personal — it should never be shared when you're just getting to know a person." — Caraline Malloy

4.

"I had never been one to think politics were a big thing to discuss on a first date but the past few months completely changed my perspective on that! I think politics these past few months have turned into basic morals and if the person I'm seeing doesn't have the same morals as me there isn't going to be a second date." — Ashley Fisher

5.

"Initially I was a bit hesitant regarding discussing the topic of politics on the first date. I wouldn't want our political views to offend either one of us, especially during the first date. But as the months approaching the election got closer, I began to realize that there is certainly nothing wrong with bringing politics to the table. As citizens, it is our duty to make ourselves cognizant and interested in who is going to lead our country. Perhaps, we may share a common ideology and that may spark an instant connection between us from the start!" — Erikka Chowdhury

6.

"Definitely. There's a fine line between politics and activism — there's so much going on in the world that we need to focus on peace and the solution rather than who's voting for who or thoughts on this policy or that newly appointed senator. I think discussing more hard-hitting topics like that can wait until after the first date." — Emmie Pombo

7.

"I think my idea on 'don't talk about politics on the first date' definitely changed because the months leading up to the 2020 election made me realize that people have their own sense of awareness. Also, this year the collective participated in a lot of social activism whether it was by throwing legal protest concerts while fundraising to help those without jobs, establishing a free wellness center, or creating their own soup kitchen to feed those with staggered finances. It would be an amazing topic to understand how he approached 2020." — Radhi Patel

8.

"No, it didn't change my opinion. I think it reinforced my belief you should not talk about politics on the first date. I've never been someone to discuss politics with people — friends, family, dates. But this election, in particular, has been emotional and heated, and people have been very aggressive and mean with their political opinions. I absolutely would not want to discuss someone's opinion on the first date, and potentially have them belittle and guilt me into believing my opinion is wrong because that is what we have seen on social media all these months leading up to the election. There has been no kindness on either side, and how can there be romance if there's no kindness?" — Jess Schmidt

9.

"Yes, to an extent. I'm a firm believer in dating with intention, so I tend to ask deeper questions early on in a relationship if any kind. I'm not sure if I would necessarily bring it up on the first date, but definitely early on in the relationship once a commitment has been made. I don't think that politics are always indicative of morals, and I would date someone with different political views if they were respectful of my views and I could be respectful of theirs. However, I do think certain issues that are deemed as political are often not political. I'm more likely to bring those up because to me, those are more indicative of what a potential partner might be like. At the same time, I almost feel like I'm more prone to being up politics now because I've seen the tension that comes later on when it won't. I probably wouldn't address it in direct relation to the election, but broader beliefs about politics and humans in general." — Madison Franz

10.

"The months leading up to the election reassured my belief that politics is a necessary discussion to have on the first date. I believe it's essential, especially in a world when political views go hand-in-hand with how someone feels about human rights and decency." - Sydney Brown

11.

"It definitely changed my mind. I used to avoid politics on the first date. But now, I feel like it's so important to discuss it upfront and find someone who aligns with your views." — Brianna Cicero

12.

"In the months leading up to the election I did not care at all about the 'no politics on the first date' I felt like it was very important for me to see where they stood and if it aligned with my beliefs. If we were not on the same page I just knew that there was no way that it would've worked out." — Cecilia Flick

13.

"While I genuinely do not bring up politics or hot button issues on the first date, I have noticed that I started talking more about what is going on. I think at a time like this, someone's political beliefs are a sign of who they are and how they view people. I will still listen to someone to understand why they think certain things, (there was actually a great episode on the 'Modern Love' podcast about people falling in love despite differing political beliefs). I think it is bullshit when people blindly choose what to follow and when. This whole ballot-counting thing, for example, they want one state to stop yet continue in another state. Stupid!" — Charlotte Trattner

14.

"To answer both questions, I have the same answer and it all narrows down to table manners and etiquette — you do not talk about politics or religion at the dinner table. It's not polite and it's guaranteed to start an argument. The whole point of a first date is to make a good first impression, test the waters, and get to know them, sure, but it's not to interrogate them about their beliefs. It sets a bad precedent. Besides, why would anyone talk about politics, especially on the first date? There are so many other things that you can talk about for your date to get to know you better that aren't related to that. Politics don't define who you are — unless you're just that boring." — Jordyn Leach

1.

"Same goes for after the election, talking about what you hold as important should always be at least hinted at on a first date." — Jennifer

2.

"I think I will definitely hint toward it going forward, but not full-on conversations unless we both happen to have careers in politics." — Amitoj

3.

"I don't think the months following the 2020 Election will change my thoughts on not talking about politics on a first date — no matter how 'unique' that Presidential Election was. A first date should be about getting to know a person; however, some subjects are better to discuss once you have known a person for some time — such as politics!" — Caraline

4.

"I also think that from now on I am going to ask about politics on the first date because I think the political party you side with says a lot about a person's morals and I would want to be with someone who has pretty similar views as me." — Ashley

5.

"The months after the election are always a new trending topic to talk about since we will be hearing many updates. I don't believe the months after the election will likely change my feelings about discussing politics on the first date as we will constantly be exposed to it and it will be tough to not discuss it. Perhaps, this topic will shed new light on the way we think and this may increase the growth of any new relationship." — Erikka

6.

"The same way that it did leading up to the election. In my opinion, the positivity we can do in this world needs to be talked about first so you can get a glimpse into the person's heart before discussing controversial topics that can rile someone up." — Emmie

7.

"The months after the 2020 election has changed the way I feel about talking about politics on the first date. I'd like to understand if the person I am dating is either heavily into propaganda or builds his perspective off of a factual sense. It's easy to see certain topics on social media and assume that it is true, which is where the sense of awareness kicks in. I'd like to know that the person I am dating is aware of what is actually going on behind the scenes especially since I'm so scientific. It's not about picking the right side it's about how you're going about your political stance to help others." — Radhi

8.

"Sort of. I will want to avoid politics EVEN MORE on a first date now. That sounds like the most unromantic thing ever for a first date." — Jess

9.

"It honestly depends on the reaction once we find out who won the election. I'm genuinely worried that there will be violence and hate based on who someone voted for, and I want to be mindful not to bring up sensitive topics in a way that might be perceived as insensitive. I've always been one to listen and discuss with people who don't agree with me because I think it's valuable for my personal growth, so I'll probably still bring it up. I'll most likely be a little bit more mindful of the context and tone that I use when I do bring it up, though." — Madison

10.

"I will continue to address political views before pursuing anything." — Sydney

11.

"Absolutely! The way people have approached this election has been super informative. It's OK for people to protest when they want voting stopped so their candidate wins but not OK for people to protest and stand up for minorities' rights? That's everything wrong with our current ideology." — Brianna

12.

"I still believe that it's OK to talk about politics. I, however, would not like to talk about it for an extended period of time. I just want to see where they stand and if we believe in the same things." — Cecilia

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

106635

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1581892

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

987473
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

907124
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

590821
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

377506
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

494677

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments