I once loved you.

I once loved you, despite the heartache you have caused me.

I once loved your soft brown hair that was always pushed back or under a baseball hat worn backwards,

Soft brown hair I always ran my fingers through and played with because you loved it.

Your bright green eyes that remind me of warm grass on a summer day,

somewhere safe and happy to spend everyday.

Eyes that I loved to stare into, to say "I love you" when we couldn't say those words.

Your beautiful smile, scarred into my head like a carving into a tree.

A smile I could always feel when you kissed me and was always present when I was around.

The soft skin you had, the forever feeling I miss grazing my fingers across.

Your hands that sent electricity through my whole body when they were placed onto me,

The same hands that scratched my back when I couldn't sleep, held my hand everywhere we went, and kept my hands warm in the cold of the hockey games we watched.

The same hands that rested on my leg when you drove, high-fived me when you were proud of me, the hands that once held my face to see me smile, and the hands that have the fingers and thumbs you used to calm me down by rubbing them across my knuckles or my knee.

The arms that held me close when we slept and hugged.

The arms that held me close while I napped, and you watched TV, but held me tighter when I woke up terrified from feeling like I was falling, and you told me it was okay because you were right there, and that you loved me.

Your lips, soft and sweet, gave me kisses full of passion and love.

The ones that left kisses on top of my head when we hugged or while I slept or even when we were just sitting there watching TV.

The scent of you still lingers on my pillows and sheets.

Bringing back the scent of laundry days spent together and memories of freshly showered hugs.

I once loved all the memories we made together.

Every single day spent together, the grocery store adventures, every hockey game, date night, movie night, the days spent watching "Breaking Bad" and "Rocket League" YouTube videos, the days we would sit next to each other and play video games, the arts and crafts, and screaming our favorite songs in the car together.

Everything.

I once thought about you everyday,

You were my best friend,

you made me happy and feel safe when you were around.

I once loved you despite the empty promises you made.

Even if you still don't love me, nothing has changed because

I once loved you.

*Disclaimer: I wrote this shortly after the breakup nearly two months ago, and now I am finally in the right head space to share it with people.*