My professor for Writing and Thinking assigned our class to "Go home and write a page tonight. And let that page come out of you-and then it will be true", similarly to an assignment Langston Hughes once had.
Are all things easier said than done?
I am 19 years old, introverted, one of the youngest in my class.
I have this overwhelming desire to show my true colors and to be myself around others.
Wanting to give strangers who do not know me the opportunity to do so.
Often worrying what their opinions are of me.
How they would treat me because of my adversity.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a young child.
I try so hard to overcome my inhibitions, but shy away from the fears of how others may react upon discovering the underlying truth of my terror.
The thought of socializing in a way that most people would expect, and to remain organized at all times triggers an unsettled feeling in my stomach and an overbearing heaviness in my chest.
Panic sets in, which eventually turns to rage.
At 19, I should know how to control myself by now.
Weakness, I feel you. Anxiety, I feel you too.
I enjoy distracting myself with music and breathing exercises to overcome the discomforting feelings.
Feelings of self-love and longing to be loved get me through the loneliest of nights.
Having Asperger’s syndrome doesn’t make me any different of a human being than the rest of my peers.
Is my writing going to be outweighed by my inner demons?
Knowing I am able to rise above, they will not speak for me.
However, they are still a part of my identity as well as those who experience similar hardships.
They often feel they cannot overcome whatever hurdles are in their way.
But that’s life.
It’s common that people don’t want to confront who they truly are on the inside.
And their inner selves don’t want to be released into the world.
Yet it’s what makes us who we are, truly!
Since I discovered a lot about myself and the woman I want to be.
Others can take accounts of my journey into consideration.
We all can rise above
Regardless of age, sex, or ethnicity.