I have recently started doing something whenever I lose sense of my emotions: go outside and soak up the sun. I found out I have a vitamin D deficiency, and when I asked my doctor what else I could do besides taking supplements, he simply told me to go outside more.
Being the good patient that I am (and just desperately wanting to feel better), I now do exactly that. Whenever I'm hitting an emotional low, have no motivation to do anything and kind of just want to cry into the void, I go outside and lay in the sun.
During one of these sessions, I had the idea to write a poem. This isn't the original poem since that was incredibly short and didn't fully encompass what I was trying to convey, but I loved it enough to revise it and share.
Instead of staying indoors and breaking
Via a proper psychological breakdown
I'm outside on the warm brick wall
Staring at the clear blue sky
Feeling my flesh burn beneath
The bright, bright sun.
I take supplements to combat my deficiency
But I've decided they aren't really enough
So whenever I lose sense of emotions
I go outside to feel my physical being
Forcibly shoved back into its shell.
Every spring breeze is a reprieve
Against my slowly scorching skin
I feel I don't deserve.
I'm sure I'm considered a sinner
By any branch of any religion
Except I don't believe there's any kind
Of unavoidable afterlife like a Hell
So I may as well do my burning now.
The hot stickiness of the sun
Presses me back together and
Helps me forget the fact
That my life feels in shambles
And I have no sense of where I'm going.
I cry anyway.