It's crazy that I'm a different person at night than I was that day
In the blink of an eye, my sunny sky changed to grey
Fighting my anxiety, I might win a few battles but I'm losing the war
I've hit my rock bottom, lying on the floor
Convincing myself to be happy is taking too much power
So I'm crying alone as I sit in the shower
Staring at the naked body I don't even like
Swear I'll get up once my phone dies
No water running, just my emotions moving fast
Wondering how long this attack is going to last
Listen to another sad song, let out a silent scream
Nights like these remind me that things aren't as good as they seemed
Eyes closed tight, surroundings shut out
Until my tear ducts have reached a barren drought
I get up and brush it off, get dressed and pretend I'm okay
It's at that moment I remember my God and begin to pray
Wanting the negative thoughts to leave my mind
So I'm counting the reasons to stay alive
Reminded there are more reasons to live than there are to die
The future will be better than the past and present combined
No matter how broken down, shaken and distraught
Even at my worst, I'm stronger than I ever thought
I'm floating just above rock bottom but that's high enough for me
This disease has me shackled but someday soon I will be free