I was young and naive
wanting someone to love me
when I didn't know what that word even means.
I confused love for lust,
caring for talking,
emotional connection for human touch.
None of these were it.
I gave up on love and moved on
but suddenly there it was again.
I found someone who treated me right
and I fell too quickly..
I didn't see that he couldn't love me
nor that he would never be the one to love me.
He is a monster.
He captured my heart with his kind words and actions
to then tear it into pieces.
He didn't care how I felt
but wanted me to feel sympathetic to his emotions.
He fakes emotions
but I knew this story all too well
I saw right through him
Yet he wanted me to wait for him
Wait for what, I said?
For him to come back and finish what he started..
For him to be ready.
Ready for what?
To come back into my life when I'm finally happy.
To destroy the joy that I created for myself, by myself.
To care for me to then leave me
To make me feel like I'm nothing more than just a body.
That might be all I was to you,
A trophy to brag about to your "brothers"
but not one to bring home to mom and dad.
You may think you won
but you're wrong.
You left me first
but I made the last call.
I changed my life around for me
I've grown and continue growing everyday
I'm in love
not with a man
but a woman.
Her name is Sydney
and I've known her for 20 years.
She is gorgeous inside and out.
She has been through a lot
but is so strong.
She never gives up on life
because she knows that she has a greater purpose.
She is driven
and has goals.
She is everything she's always wanted to be
no thanks to you.
She has really turned her life around
when she thought it was crumbling beneath her feat.
She is truly an inspiration
and I love her for that.
I love her for the woman she is
despite her past.
I love her for her compassion and endless love
despite feeling very unloved.
I love her for pushing the envelope
even if the outcome isn't great.
I love her for her
the way you could have,
the way you should have
but now never will.
I love her
the way she wanted you to
but never could.
You will read this one day
"will I ever get her back?"
the answer is clear to see.
You are not worthy of her time.
A girl who loves herself is not one to be reckoned with.
You met her when she had fallen out of love with herself
a dark time.
She was vulnerable
but now she see's the light.
You're too late,
for our time is gone
it never was our time
and never will be