Most people who know me know that I love being single. They know that I am extremely independent (almost to a fault), cringe at romantic gestures and I have embraced the idea that I might not find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I normally write about learning to love yourself and accepting that your self-worth is not defined by your relationship status and I honestly believe those things. I am very well aware that it is better to be single than be with the wrong person. However, there are some days when being single just sucks.
1. Finding a date to a formal event is always stressful.
Being in a sorority, date functions and formals come up a lot. Every time one is announced you feel the added pressure to bring the perfect date. You have to mentally go through the list of every guy that you know and weigh the pros and cons of bringing each of them. If you rule all of them out, then you have to decide which of your girlfriends to bring, which can lead to people feeling left out. It would be so much easier if you had a guy that was essentially required to go to whatever events you needed him to.
2. Having to answer the "Are you dating anyone?" question at every family gathering.
Nope, you're still single. Move along.
3. Having to then deal with the assurance of "Don't worry, you'll find someone."
Honestly, you weren't worried until that person made you feel like you should be worried. And now instead of feeling confident you feel like you need to start collecting cats now.
4. You're always second-guessing if your standards are too high.
Sometimes it always seems like every guy who does actually like you is someone you would never be attracted to or want to date. And then you wonder if that is because you just have a certain type, or if your standards are actually too high.
5. You don't understand how people's crushes turn into relationships.
"I liked him, and it turns out he liked me too so then we started dating." How in the world does that happen? Please, share your wisdom.
6. When your best friends are in a relationship you have to constantly deal with being in second place.
This is probably the worst part of being single. Sometimes, when your friends are in relationships, that relationship comes first, even if you put them first. All of your plans center around them, but they have someone else in their life who is their main priority. You don't fault them for it and you understand balancing friendships and a romantic relationship can be hard. You know that you would be doing the same thing in a relationship, but it sucks that whenever they are busy, you don't have anyone else to make plans with.
7. Everyone is always trying to set you up.
There's nothing worse than listening to a friend or family member describe someone who you know you would never get along with. It's even worse when they add "I've told him all about you and he wants to meet you."
8. Everyone feels bad for you.
You don't need anyone's pity, and usually the only times you feel bad about yourself are when someone makes you feel like you're lesser of a person because you're not in a relationship.
9. You worry that you are so good at being single you won't be able to ever connect with someone.
The moment you realize you don't need someone is a very powerful moment. However, once you realize this, it is much harder to put yourself out there because you know you are just fine by yourself. Being single is your comfort zone, so you worry that if someone does pursue you then you will panic out of fear of the unknown.