Self-reflection is important. I think we often forget that our past helps to shape our future. It can craft us in good or bad ways, create habits, fears, temptations, strength, and memories.

I turned 20 a few days ago, which left me some time to think back on my life, to who I've been, and who I am. The more I thought back to my past, the more I felt encouraged to reflect on it.

Toddler (1)

I was born in Colorado. If you know me, you know I still love it there and cheer on my Rockies. I know they suck, but they're my team.

I grew up as a daughter of a music pastor. This meant we were constantly around people, mainly adults, for church functions and such. At a very young age, I learned how to communicate with and around adults which made be become mature very quickly. I was the kid who'd rather sit around with the adults than play with the people my age.

Easter (3)

Growing up in Colorado I grew to love cold weather, especially the snow. I also grew very fond of the mountains, and to this day it still pains me that Texas is flat. From this, I learned to love the fall and the winter. One winter, it snowed so much, that my dad created a life-sized couch made of snow. I still don't understand why people like the heat, I don't think I ever will.

One of the most vivid memories I have of living in Colorado was sitting in the doctor's office waiting for my laser treatment on my birthmark. For those of you who don't know, I have a large port wine stain up my left leg, that stretches up my back. As a kid, they were worried it would be too prominent, therefore I received laser treatments on it to reduce the pigment. I remember running from the doctor, who my mom had lied and told me was very nice. I hid behind a couch in the waiting room and thought to myself, "One day I'm going to be a doctor who doesn't hurt people."

Good 3-year-old logic.

Another example of good three-year-old logic. (3)

When I turned 5, my family was blessed to welcome my little brother into the world. By this point, we were moving into a new house, one we built from the ground up. But, life often changes, and near the start of my Kindergarden year, we moved to Phoenix. Since we moved so late, my mom homeschooled me for my Kindergarten year, along with my grandmother.

While we lived in Phoenix, I officially asked Christ into my heart. I'm not sure how well aware I was of Christ's presence in my life at a mere 6 years old, but I knew that I believed it was there. Being involved in the church my whole life, I knew this was the right decision for me.

Kindergarten (6)

By first grade, we were back in Colorado, close to the Wyoming border. All I remember about living there was a lot of snow, my neighbors, my dog dying, and my 8th birthday party. As a kid, I sang and played the piano. Since I sang, I fell in love with American Idol. So for my 8th birthday party, I had an American Idol party. We played karaoke in our basement, and as my gift, I got tickets to the American Idol tour. I got to see the top 12 performers live. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

My American Idol Party (8)

In the middle of my second-grade year, we moved to Texas. As a naive 8-year-old, I thought people rode their horses to school. I was glad to find out Texas wasn't as cowboy as I thought. I missed the snow, the mountains, and my friends, but I slowly made more in Texas.

3rd grade rolled around and they found all the problems with my teeth. They had to put braces on, and I had surgery to remove teeth blocking other teeth. I had a wonderful teacher that year, who helped me to get through my surgery. She and I still keep in contact to this day.

4th grade was a messy blur that I don't care to remember most of. However, 5th grade was another good year. I was fortunate enough to have my 3rd-grade teacher again, which made my year so fun. This was also the year they identified me as GT. I finally had somewhat of an answer to why I was so different than the other kids. I genuinely liked the school, and still do.

5th Grade Graduation with Mrs. Mikula (11)

Most of the middle school is a repressed haze. Like everyone else, middle school was rough for me. People poked fun at me for being myself, and for my weight. I was by no means fat. During these years I developed my obsession for One Direction. I didn't have many friends from my middle school years. It's one of the reasons I'm so independent and introverted now. I also began playing the cello in middle school. In 7th grade, I met this kid named Zac. He was my practice buddy. To this day he's still my best friend. He's also my longest lasting friendship. God forbid if I had actually played the bassoon like I had wanted.

First day of 8th grade (14)

By my freshman year of high school, I had my braces back on, and Taylor Swift front bangs. I was quite a sight. I was still greatly involved in orchestra. Since I didn't get out much in my middle school days, I was very innocent. I remember sitting in my dance class in high school, hearing people talk about things I had never heard of before. What was a weed? And why did people smoke it? I soon found out.

One of the worst pictures of me in recorded history. Yikes. (15)

Sophomore year we went to the Midwest International Clinic and played as one of the featured three orchestras. I think this is probably one of the highest honors I have received, and I am still so shocked I got to be a part of the group who went. We played along with a group from Belgium and Japan. I was still very naive at this point, very strong in my faith, and almost blind to the world outside of my nerd friends.

Sophomore Year (16)

Then came junior year. Yikes.

My junior year I was introduced to an alarmingly large number of people who taught me to think things of the world were normal and okay. To this point, I had never had any interaction with boys. I wasn't allowed to text boys until I was 16, therefore I was literally stunted in my development with my interactions with them. To this day I think I'm still very much so behind the curve. It's okay though, it's not a priority of mine.

My junior year I met boys who thought I was cute (yes, me). I had my first kiss. I became friends with a lot of the class above me in the process. Towards the end of my junior year, my faith wavered like a flag in the wind. I didn't understand heartbreak. I didn't understand love. All I knew was anger. But that wouldn't last.

My best friend Zac back when he was shorter than me (17)

My senior year of high school was a rut for me fighting out my faith. I learned that just acting and apologizing later just doesn't fly with Jesus. He calls us to live separate of the ways of the world. Although I wish every part of life was great and easy, it isn't. If every day was amazing, life would be bland. Our lives rise and fall because the lows make the highs even higher.

A&M Visit (18)

My freshman year of college I also discovered I didn't want to be a doctor, but rather a lawyer because I realized that I love law and government. This was another major component of realizing who I am. I switched from a Biomedical Sciences major to a Political Science major, and I've never liked school more.

Best friend Zac (19)

This summer, coming into my sophomore year of college, I've finally found my faith. The faith I wanted when I was just a little 6-year-old girl. And I love the life I've been given. Every part of it it. I'm still the goofy old soul I've always been, but happier than ever before. So for my 20th birthday, I'll give you 20 pieces of advice that I've found have molded and shaped my life to make it the beautiful thing it is today.

Love everyone who comes across your path. No matter what they look like, or who they might be. Love them.

Don't give up what you believe in to conform to what society says is right.

Write down the best moments of your life. You'll want to remember them when times get rough.

Forgive people, give second chances, but don't let yourself be a doormat.

Make a bucket list, and actually do it.

Find what you love, and don't be afraid to show it.

Don't be afraid to let people who love you in.

If you believe in something, live it out.

Be YOURSELF.

Don't ever cut Taylor Swift bangs. No matter if you think they're cute.

Study hard and work hard. It pays off.

Go to Texas A&M and be a part of the Aggie family.

Create a rainy day fund for the days where you need a treat.

Learn from others. They're a free resource

Be kind to people you don't know.

Make friends. Be outgoing. People are nicer than you think.

Learn your limits. Don't burn out.

Don't let a boy ruin your life. They aren't worth it.

Listen to others. Sometimes they have good things to say.

Don't let people and their opinions define your value and worth.

Always

HMS