If I were a piece of cake, I would want to be a layered chocolate cake. One that is rich and decadent and full of hidden chocolatey or perhaps raspberry swirls, or even stray mysterious chocolate chips.

If I were a pair of shoes I would want to be a pair of pink Converses. A classic shoe worn by so many, but with an added pop of color and fun. Easy to tie, and will stay with you until they die from overuse.

If I were a book, I would want to be a Mark Twain book. Full of humor and easy-to-read prose with fantastical journeys and interesting characters.

If I were a flower, I would want to be a rose. Soft and dainty but a powerful symbol of love and affection. Easily accessible but not casually doled out.

If I were a color, I would want to be red. A color of power, good luck, and courage. A color with bold hues and far-reaching interpretations. Meant to stop people in their tracks and look.

If I were an emoji, I would want to be the “winking with the tongue out” one. Coy and silly but sweet and up to your interpretation.

If I were a song, I would want to be a classic rock song. Thought-provoking and artistic but not everyone’s cup of tea (except those who have a good taste in music).

If I were a piece of jewelry, I would want to be a necklace. Close to your heart and pretty around your neck.

If I were a food, I would want to be a piece of pizza. Everyone would love me and I would only cause slight heartburn — nothing too bad. And you would always want more.

If I were a season, I would want to be summer. Warm and full of surprises and weekend getaways and fun and laughter and snowcones and open diving boards.

If I were a bir,d I would want to be a pelican. Flying high above the ocean on gulf breezes and plunging in the waters whenever I felt like it.

If I were a drink, I would want to be a Sprite. You could see right through me but the bubbly spirit will always be there. I’d be sweet and nostalgic and would probably be at most birthday parties.

If you were a politician, you would be Donald Trump. Obviously confused and out of place (because this is a weird poem) and you probably should be doing something else right now (as in, not running for the presidency… or doing your homework).