In these past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about human emotions. Particularly these last two months, which have left me emotionally exhausted way too many times. I for one, understand that there is only so much stress a person can take but when you have school, work, clubs, family and other priorities, stress is inevitable. I do wonder though, at what point and why does the body just decide enough is enough? Allow me to clarify; one day, you get extremely stressed out. You uncontrollably cry for hours, maybe even days.

Then it passes.

The next time something happens, you once again cry uncontrollably and you probably more than once reflect on your current misfortunes in life. Which is not to say, that others don’t have it worse but to acknowledge that you too are going through a tough time and that is okay, even though it may not always feel the best. Once you think you’re at your lowest though, something happens once again but instead of crying, you don’t cry and you don’t know why. It is almost like it didn’t affect you, you know it did but you show no emotion. It confuses you but you move on.

Then one day, when you’ve blocked your emotions to date, something makes you cry. The smallest thing pushes you to the edge. It passes again and you feel better.

This is not me wallowing in my self-pity, (well not completely), this is me writing it out to try and understand because then after the self-pity, it just becomes anger. For example, I am not even sad about me and my boyfriend breaking up. I am now just mad, not because the relationship didn’t work out as I had hoped but because I was never offered an explanation, which I feel like I deserved.

I deal with it by listening to music or maybe I should go running, my best friend always says that’s a good stress reliever. I feel like Taylor Swift when I’m writing this and I can’t get “Back to December” out of my head. I just wish that anybody who feels sad sometimes or a lot of the time just breathes and thinks about all the good. If you can’t think about it, go running, or do something to get your mind off the stress. Treat yourself, make yourself smile, love yourself.