Popular media often features celebrities looking stunning on the red carpet, modeling the latest top designer. However, I sometimes see stories with headlines like, "Look! Celebrities! Breathing! Existing! Buying Groceries!" It's an odd concept to us muggles that celebrities do, in fact, participate in normal activities like breathing, existing, and buying groceries.
Upon recent viewing one of these said news pieces, I began wondering what it would be like to be photographed randomly in my life. What would I be wearing, what would I be doing, and, most importantly, what would my answers be to the above questions?
Here are the answering pictures with corresponding captions, as I imagine them.
Marisa Haselhuhn, sporting a KU-themed grey jacket with a classic jean combo, walking home from class.
When asked where she happened upon the jacket, she replied, "Oh, well, I stole this jacket from my mom way back in the day and have now since absorbed it into my jacket collection. It now has a couple holes in it. Why are you asking?"
Marisa Haselhuhn, working hard in a smashing grey KU Dining shirt and black hat.
"Yeah, it's our uniform here at SatOps," Marisa said, laughing. "I'm rockin' the groutfit if I do say so myself." EDIT: We were able to discern that "groutfit" means "grey outfit."
Marisa Haselhuhn, walking casually in a dark green sweater combined with jeans and sneakers. . . again.
When asked if this was a standard outfit choice for her, Marisa said, "Well, jeans and sneakers are good for walking around this Kansas campus in the spring, because they can be paired with any number of tops depending on the weather. I also particularly love this top because I can totally not wear a bra with it, and no one can tell. Oh, wait, can you not print that last part?"
Marisa Haselhuhn, waiting for the bus after a grueling gym workout, wearing, well, we're not sure.
When we asked what the heck was going on with this getup, she replied, "Oh, yeah, it's not like I'm modeling in Milan here. I just got done running my butt off. So, I have on my workout clothes, consisting of leggings and a sweatshirt, and then have my warm clothes, like my jacket and boots, on top. It's cold out here in the real world, ya know? You guys really are everywhere, aren't you?" Yes, we are.
Marisa Haselhuhn, finally looking somewhat classy in a short grey dress, leggings, and black booties. Though, she is making an odd face. . .
"Well, that's a bit harsh, dontcha think?" was her reply to our statement. "Yeah, sometimes I dress up, sometimes I don't, who cares?" When asked, she replied, "Yes, these are the same leggings I wore to workout in. Why?" Silly Marisa doesn't understand the difference between fashion leggings and workout leggings.
There you have it, folks. Just one of the many reasons I'm not widely famous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have Vogue on the other line offering a top modeling contract.