Every time I wake up in the morning, I look at my phone. I dive into Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook to see the latest feed and stories of people's lives. At night, I look on dating apps when I'm bored, just to see what kind of fish, and trash, are out there.

The relationship I have with technology has greatly changed my relationship with other people, for the better or worse, but most importantly, technology has changed the relationship I have with myself.

I have lost sight of myself. I fill out the hours of my day by looking at someone else's life, a cute cat video, an anime show… The distractions are endless. Sure, I still study and work out, but is my mental mind in the right place when I really want to do those things? I find myself doing things that feel good for myself, but what is not BEST for myself. Sometimes I feel like a sheep; whenever a friend at a club needs to go to the bathroom, I follow and wait with them, I grab my phone and try find anything that would preoccupy me.

Often, I have seen social media used for validation. People are adamant on showing the most positive aspects of their lives, their achievements and goals, but not their darkest moments and insecurities. I have struggled at low self-esteem, and with a low sense of value. AS a result, I have made mistakes. To gain a true sense of self-worth, there must be hard-work, time, and effort put in.

The irony of it all? I hardly get any notifications on social media, and the energy I expend to my distractions never give anything fulfilling in return. A result of this is feeling lost to the sea of anxiety. My moral compass feels like it is spinning out of control and I felt like I could turn to no one. At one time, the only thing that was important in my life was measuring myself to other people's Instagram feed and what other people thought of me.

What should be questioned and thought about deeply is what kind of person I am. Where do I want to be? Who do I think I should be? As an independent individual, I like to think of how the party doesn't start until I arrive at the destination. Because I am the destination.

Every experience that is special to us should be catalogued. I want to remember what it felt like have my own experience without asking for someone else's approval or critiquing. To build up myself, as well as others, hard work, time, and effort must be put in. There should be confidence that is reliable on its own and does not rely on how many likes and followers I have.

By asking the questions of what you want, what you think and what matters to you every day, there will be more answers and less insecurities.

While it may seem that the relationship we have technology is about focusing on ourselves, it does not help in progressing in what kind of people we really are.

I sincerely hope that people will focus more on the relationships they have with their inner selves, knowing that they are their own best friend, instead of the superficial relationships they have with their social media followers.