It's been one week since I was furloughed from my job. There's a lump in my throat just writing that sentence because I know how much my country and rest of the world is going through this with me. So many people without jobs, many sick and some dying. Thankfully, I can afford rent and groceries for the next few months, which makes me more fortunate than others who will struggle for those simple necessities. Mental health is already becoming more of an issue. This is a difficult time for everyone in one way or another, a time which prompts so many questions for us all: What do we do with ourselves during this unprecedented time? How do we keep from falling into despair, from feeling alone, isolated, and stuck in place? Yes, we are all suffering together, but what if we decided to make sure we never again take for granted the things we did prior to quarantine? What if we make the choice right now to come out of this pandemic better people than we were before? If you have a few minutes to spare (which, come on, you know you do) and feel like reading the ramblings of a 32 year-old, unemployed physical therapist with way too much time on his hands, I'm your huckleberry.

Anyone who has known me for a while has heard me describe some of my crazy dreams, and I even occasionally think they're real after I wake up. The other day, I woke up and assumed I must be dreaming about the Virus-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named (for all you Harry Potter fans). As I turned off the alarm on my phone, I was greeted with a series of morbid notifications that suggested otherwise: rising case totals and deaths tolls, even more stay at home orders, unemployment numbers in the millions, and fear running rampant due to the uncertainty of this virus. Well, that was a quick snap back to reality for me.

That reality has taken a toll. I consider myself an optimist, but I'll admit, I hit a wall a few days ago and became depressed about the current state of things. To occupy my mind and distract myself, I began doing some self-reflecting. Unfortunately, for many of us, including myself, sometimes things have to get really bad for us to actually appreciate what is most important in life. I am here to tell you that I thought I appreciated my life and the people in it. Now, I realize that I have taken so much for granted. I have been incredibly fortunate to have many special people come into my life. All of them with a purpose, making me who I am today. The truth is, I want to be better than the person I was prior to this pandemic. If I had to guess, many of you would say the same. Here are my thoughts on just how we can come out for the better on the other side.

To start, we can practice being that better person right now. Be that listening ear for a friend. Check up on someone you haven't spoken with in a while. Talk less. Listen more. Help others to come out of a dark place if they find themselves in one. Do something meaningful for others. Draw pictures for nursing home residents who can't have any visitors right now. Set up toys in the windows for neighborhood kids to go on scavenger hunts. Challenge yourself. Pick up that guitar that has been collecting dust for years, and really feel the music playing through your soul, not just your fingers. Learn a new dance you've always wanted to learn, so you can crush the dance floor at the next wedding you attend. Shed those few pounds you never quite found the time to lose. Learn a new language. Time and technology are thankfully not in short supply for most of us; let's not miss out on a chance to take advantage of both.

Beyond the little opportunities for self-improvement, don't forget about the big ones. Even if it's something you can't accomplish right now, set goals for the future. How about all the risks you're terrified to take? We're only on this Earth once, and life should be lived with passion. That dream job that you've always had in your mind?--go for it when this is all over! You've always wanted to move to Colorado? Take a chance on a move, and you may end up making the best decision of your life. That person you have feelings for?--tell them how you feel! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. On a similar note, I challenge you to rethink how you treat others. Be honest, truthful and show compassion for others' feelings. We've all had bad breakups and been through things that have built walls. Tear those down and love wholeheartedly, opening yourself up to the possibilities in front of you. We've never been guaranteed tomorrow, and now we have an added level of mourning to that uncertainty, so long as we're quarantined in our homes. We had it so good, didn't we? What I wouldn't give for more in-person, human interaction right now instead of being on my phone and computer, stuck at home all day, only able to interact through a screen... Ironic isn't it?

I look forward to the day I can be around people again, as we all do, I'm sure. I believe it is in our DNA to strive for companionship, closeness, and communication with others. I saw my parents last weekend, and I couldn't hug my father; I couldn't give my mother a kiss on the cheek; I couldn't toss my 7 year-old niece, who doesn't completely understand what's going on, up in the air the way she loves (though it usually makes the rest of my family cringe.) It was painful. When this is over, instead of complaining about waiting in lines, I think I may just start hugging random strangers while I stand next to them. Shoot, I may go to the DMV just to talk to a bunch of randos. I won't be frustrated waiting for a table in a busy restaurant or waiting at a crowded bar for my bourbon and ginger. I'll happily stand neck and neck with people at a rock concert, and I won't even care if I end up in the middle of a mosh pit and get knocked unconscious. At least someone would have gotten within 6 feet of me to knock me out. I'll gladly be squished in the middle seat of an airplane with a screaming baby behind me…Ok actually I'll probably pass on the screaming baby.

The good news is that, eventually, life will return to normal. But what will that normal look like? Will we return to the life we had before? Will we be the people we were even just two weeks ago? For my part, I hope to come out of this pandemic a better person. I hope we all will. I believe in the human race and, while we may have taken a wrong turn here or there, people are inherently good and capable of change for the better. Just look at how many people have come together in this short time. I see previously unacquainted neighbors at my apartment complex now laughing together (from a 6 ft distance, of course.) My roommate and I are trying group exercise classes via Facetime. I'm spending hours on the phone with friends I haven't spoken to in a long time, and we're supporting each other through this crisis. We are blessed with the amazing ability to communicate with each other, express feelings to each other, and build relationships. That blessing is too often overlooked.

A friend recently reminded me of a quote by Leo Buscaglia, "It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of person-kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely." I'm pretty sure all of us have felt lonely one time or another in the past few weeks, but hopefully this quote inspires you, as it has me, to appreciate what you may have previously taken for granted. I hope you will go out of your way to bring joy to others who may be struggling. I hope you will hold your loved ones close as soon as you can. I hope you will take a risk that has scared you until now. I hope you recognize the opportunities for joy in everyday interactions. I hope you remember to live fully.

I plan on living by this quote for the rest of my life. I may have dreamt that this pandemic wasn't really happening, but I hope my next dream is about a world where we all live determined to better ourselves for each other, just as Buscaglia encouraged. When this is all over, I hope we strive to make this dream a reality.

This has been my wake up call. I hope it can be yours too.

-AJ

**Special thank you to my close friend Mary Boyle for her amazing editing skills. You helped make my ramblings more legible.