As 2017 is coming to an end, I am pondering over this past year and the memories it has brought into my life. I have experienced it all from the stereotypical high school drama to the college decisions to experiencing "The Last Frontier", Alaska (which, by the way, eventually led to getting lost in the woods, but that's a story for another time). I begin to express a great gratitude for these memories no matter how lugubrious or how special they are to me. 

The end result: A changed person.

For once in my life, I feel like I have finally accomplished something I have had a great ambition for- a "me" that I love and am proud of. Trust me, it wasn't easy and I definitely worked hard for who I am and who I continue to grow to be. 

The journey started one night after crying myself to sleep. I felt distant from God, I was pushing my friends away, and I was transforming to be the person I hoped to never be. My positive, joyful self seemed to fade away with each day that came to an end. 

I made some changes in my life. I finally brought my mind to admit to myself that the people I surrounded myself with, and the way I began to act was not okay and was not for me- but don't get me wrong, I still love those people to death. I felt no external encouragement to create a more loving, educated relationship with Christ, and my mind wasn't in the right state to understand that for myself. 

I felt like a boat lost at sea. 

I began to teeter-tot myself in and out of friend groups in order to try and find the one that I could be myself in, the one that showed me an abundant amount of love and support, and the one that encouraged me to be the best version of myself that I can be. 

Everyday I still am trying to figure out my purpose. Why am I here? Who does God want me to be? What must I do to become that person?

But, if there is one thing that I can tell you, it's this:

Change is so good.