Before I say anything else, I have to say that I am so sorry. I am sorry that you were never a priority. I am sorry, that I pushed you far into the ground while holding up people who didn't cherish me like you did. I am sorry, that I sat in silence as those who manipulated and harassed you broke you down. I am sorry that I stood by your abusers as they pulled you back by your throat, tears streaming down your face. I am sorry that I told them that what they were doing was OK. I am sorry for letting you collapse into a shadow of the person you once were, all the while knowing it was only me that could save you. I am sorry that despite knowing, I chose to look you in the eyes and walk away from you, leaving you shivering in the corner. I am sorry that my decision to leave destroyed you. But as much as I say that I am sorry, I don't regret a second of it.
Watching you disappear from me was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I admired the tears streaming down your face and the pain that tore through your chest. I loved the moments of mute silence of which you grew numb, and the reflection that you could barely stand to look at in the mirror. You were nothing more than a shadow lost in darkness, and I was happy to be part of the cause. I am happy that I watched you shiver and scream in the corner as your limbs became weak. Now, because of it all, I have grown to cherish every inch of you and your perfect imperfections.
I have grown to cherish the glowing smile that appears on your face when you compliment a stranger or belt Disney music. I am happy that I saw the tears puddling on your cheeks dripping from your bloodshot eyes, as I will never forget to be thankful when they are dry and glimmering blue and grey. I am so happy that I watched you collapse into the ground because I also got to watch you build yourself back up piece by piece, taking special care to make sure you were put together stronger and more resilient than before. I am ecstatic that you despised the reflection you saw in the mirror because I know you now make silly faces at it and smile because you know you are so much more than what you see. I walked away from you, but I never truly left you, because I am you.
Somewhere deep inside of you I sat and watched and waited until you finally said enough. I waited until you put down your fist and screamed for the final time, not of sadness or anger, but with strength. I waited until the perfect moment, for you to realize it was time to stop letting others dictate who you are or what you do. It was time for you to walk away from those who continued to destroy you and instead surround yourself with those who bring you up. You lost so much of yourself in the past, but now I am thankful that you have learned what's at stake.
You now know you will never sacrifice your self-love, self-confidence, or self-worth for anyone ever again. Now, you will NEVER forget who you are or what you stand for. You will never again forget your worth. You are happier and stronger than I have ever seen you before, and for that, I will forever be thankful. I love you, and despite how I made you feel in the past, know that I will always believe in you. The true you. Never forget that.