Why You Do NOT Ask A Person With Anxiety How They Are Doing

Why You Do NOT Ask A Person With Anxiety How They Are Doing

I Take Things To Heart And Edge Things In Stone
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My EQ level is higher than my IQ. For those who do not know what EQ is, its Emotional quota/intelligence.

Since I am more emotional than most, I tend to take things more seriously than you would. I empathize constantly and I am overwhelmed with feelings all the time. The feelings could range from love, affection or adornment to depression, destructive and agitation.

Taking things closely to heart means I let things in. I do not mean to, nor do I really want to. It just happens. I attract the feelings even though they disrupt me. Even though, they destroy me, and I let them. I let all the world’s problems fall on me and I cannot hold it. I know I can’t, and yet, I still sit in my room at 2am on a Tuesday balling my eyes out about how much I drown on a daily basis.

Even after I wipe my tears, put on a smile and step out in the world, I edge everything in my brain. I edge everything in stone. My hardships never really leave me. They follow me wherever I go. Even if I try to erase them from my brain, they don’t go away.

Whenever I am in a situation, where I even think it could possibly be my fault, I actually think it is. It takes me a while to come to terms that is not true. What needs to be understood is that some people are like this. Some people are extremely caring and they are actually a lot more harder on themselves than you are to them. They constantly think about what is happening around them and they do not forget about the mistakes they made. Even years in their past. The feelings never go away either.

I would be sitting in class and someone would comment about my outfit and then I instantly think about everything wrong with it, and how I decided to step out in the world dressed the way I am. A person with anxiety is always going to say they are fine. Of course they are, they do not want to burden you with what they are truly feeling. If they do that, then they will feel as if you are judging them behind their backs. (You probably are not, but they do not see it that way). So they try to make everything seem perfect or great in their lives and by faking the bright smile, we are just digging even deeper in this whole that we cannot get out of.

If we answered honestly, no one knows what to say.

If we answered honestly, no one knows what to do and sometimes,

If we answer honestly, some might not even care.

Which would bring us back to edging things in our brains. The mind that holds millions of things and if you have anxiety, it holds a billion more, constantly moving. Do not doubt us when we are saying “Oh I’m fine”, because on some level, we are. There is just a large part to some of us where the not so fine part takes over. We hide it well, we try to blend in. But by blendling, we disappear and some of us do not want to background trapped with the edged stones.

Cover Image Credit: Deb Greengold

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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In Real Life, 'Plus Size' Means A Size 16 And Up, Not Just Women Who Are Size 8's With Big Breasts

The media needs to understand this, and give recognition to actual plus-size women.

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Recently, a British reality dating TV show called "Love Island" introduced that a plus-sized model would be in the season five lineup of contestants. This decision was made after the show was called out for not having enough diversity in its contestants. However, the internet was quick to point out that this "plus-size model" is not an accurate representation of the plus-size community.


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Anna Vakili, plus-size model and "Love Island "Season 5 Contestant Yahoo UK News

It is so frustrating that the media picks and chooses women that are the "ideal" version of plus sized. In the fashion world, plus-size starts at size 8. EIGHT. In real life, plus-size women are women who are size 16 and up. Plunkett Research, a marketing research company, estimated in 2018 that 68% of women in America wear a size 16 to 18. This is a vast difference to what we are being told by the media. Just because a woman is curvy and has big breasts, does NOT mean that they are plus size. Marketing teams for television shows, magazines, and other forms of media need to realize that the industry's idea of plus size is not proportionate to reality.

I am all for inclusion, but I also recognize that in order for inclusion to actually happen, it needs to be accurate.

"Love Island" is not the only culprit of being unrealistic in woman's sizes, and I don't fully blame them for this choice. I think this is a perfect example of the unrealistic expectations that our society puts on women. When the media tells the world that expectations are vastly different from reality, it causes women to internalize that message and compare themselves to these unrealistic standards.

By bringing the truth to the public, it allows women to know that they should not compare themselves and feel bad about themselves. Everyone is beautiful. Picking and choosing the "ideal" woman or the "ideal" plus-size woman is completely deceitful. We as a society need to do better.

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