Why You Do NOT Ask A Person With Anxiety How They Are Doing

Why You Do NOT Ask A Person With Anxiety How They Are Doing

I Take Things To Heart And Edge Things In Stone

My EQ level is higher than my IQ. For those who do not know what EQ is, its Emotional quota/intelligence.

Since I am more emotional than most, I tend to take things more seriously than you would. I empathize constantly and I am overwhelmed with feelings all the time. The feelings could range from love, affection or adornment to depression, destructive and agitation.

Taking things closely to heart means I let things in. I do not mean to, nor do I really want to. It just happens. I attract the feelings even though they disrupt me. Even though, they destroy me, and I let them. I let all the world’s problems fall on me and I cannot hold it. I know I can’t, and yet, I still sit in my room at 2am on a Tuesday balling my eyes out about how much I drown on a daily basis.

Even after I wipe my tears, put on a smile and step out in the world, I edge everything in my brain. I edge everything in stone. My hardships never really leave me. They follow me wherever I go. Even if I try to erase them from my brain, they don’t go away.

Whenever I am in a situation, where I even think it could possibly be my fault, I actually think it is. It takes me a while to come to terms that is not true. What needs to be understood is that some people are like this. Some people are extremely caring and they are actually a lot more harder on themselves than you are to them. They constantly think about what is happening around them and they do not forget about the mistakes they made. Even years in their past. The feelings never go away either.

I would be sitting in class and someone would comment about my outfit and then I instantly think about everything wrong with it, and how I decided to step out in the world dressed the way I am. A person with anxiety is always going to say they are fine. Of course they are, they do not want to burden you with what they are truly feeling. If they do that, then they will feel as if you are judging them behind their backs. (You probably are not, but they do not see it that way). So they try to make everything seem perfect or great in their lives and by faking the bright smile, we are just digging even deeper in this whole that we cannot get out of.

If we answered honestly, no one knows what to say.

If we answered honestly, no one knows what to do and sometimes,

If we answer honestly, some might not even care.

Which would bring us back to edging things in our brains. The mind that holds millions of things and if you have anxiety, it holds a billion more, constantly moving. Do not doubt us when we are saying “Oh I’m fine”, because on some level, we are. There is just a large part to some of us where the not so fine part takes over. We hide it well, we try to blend in. But by blendling, we disappear and some of us do not want to background trapped with the edged stones.

Cover Image Credit: Deb Greengold

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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7 Ways To Calm Your Mind, Body, And Soul During An Anxiety Attack

It is OK not to be OK.


Everyone gets anxiety attacks whether you will admit it or not. Seven little things that help me find my inner peace are ones I feel everyone should be aware of.

1. Try the "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" grounding exercise.

Answer these five questions out loud for sensory awareness:

What are five things you can see?

What are four things you can feel?

What are three things you can hear?

What are two things you can smell?

What is one thing you love about yourself?

2. Try out this breathing .GIF.

Breathe In Help GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

3. Listen to a song that reduces your anxiety.

4. Use some lavender oil.

Rub it on your temples.

Put some on your wrists.



5. Tense up your muscles (and then relax).

This may sound counter-intuitive, but just give it a try:

Start tensing at your toes and move up through your body — legs, abdomen, arms, neck, and jaw. Hold it for four counts. Then, relax your muscles. Feel the tension melt out of you.

6. Download an app on your phone.

There are my top apps for helping with anxiety (and they are FREE):

"Recolor" (a coloring book app).

"Wordscapes" (like a crossword puzzle).

"PicrossLUNA" (kind of a play-off of sudoku).

"Words With Friends 2" (just like Scrabble).

7. Reach into your freezer and grab an ice cube.

Just one of many distraction methods.

Reach into the freezer and grab an ice cube or an ice pack.

Hold it firmly in your hand.

Place it on your toes.

The idea is to distract your mind from anything else.

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