I was around 8 years old when my intense fear of "the talk" began. I don’t exactly know why, but I did. Every time my friends would come over and mention slightly inappropriate things in front of my parents, I made sure to talk loudly over them in hopes that they would get the hint and shut up. I constantly had nightmares about my parents finding out what I was doing when I was playing Sims, which is stupid since back then all you had to the game in order to make a baby was a kiss. Nevertheless, you think this would change once I was a teenager. It didn’t.

Somehow I am now 19 and still refuse to watch anything rated R while at home with friends, even if my parents are in a completely different part of the house. I have to make it known to my friends that at home, I am 12. During winter break, I had friends over, and as we channel surfed, I let them know we couldn’t watch anything remotely sexual, so we ended up watching "Sleepover." Yes, "Sleepover." Pre-"American Horror Story" Evan Peters and "Spy Kids" star Alexa Vega, "Sleepover."

Even outside of my house, I am 12. My friends and I went to go see "Trainwreck" last summer, and the entire time I was thinking of lies to feed my dad. Before seeing the movie I didn’t think "Trainwreck" was going to be as raunchy and explicit as it was, so I texted my dad what we were seeing. Throughout the film, my only train of thought was, "Tell him you couldn’t get in cause one of your friends forgot their ID!"

Although my fear of "the talk" with my parents started at 8, my fear of watching “inappropriate” movies with my parents began when I was 12, and I asked my dad to take my friends and me to see "17 Again." This was the beginning of the end. It started off bad because the movie started off with the teenage pregnancy then continued with several innuendos and Zac Efron making fun of the size of guy's “wiener.” Zac’s words not mine.

Not to mention Matthew Perry’s character’s daughter trying to seduce his 17-year-old self, which later results in him having a talk about sex with his daughter later on in the film. This was a nightmare and it truly scared 12-year-old me.

Fast forward to today, I am almost 20 years old, and my friends make fun of me for binge watching "One Tree Hill" during my first semester at college, and still liking to watch "Degrassi," "Dance Academy," "Teen Wolf" and other silly teen shows. I should be more grown-up, start watching "House of Cards" or "Breaking Bad." But besides the fact that I really can’t identify with white old men, I don’t watch these shows for another reason.

After the "17 Again" nightmare I made sure only to stick to Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, even when everyone had moved on to teen shows, I was stuck behind. I did break my rules sometimes; at 13 I started to watch "Teen Wolf" and "Degrassi," but only in secret. I was frequently afraid that my parents would walk in during something scandalous. So I would wait until they were asleep so I could watch at the lowest volume.

When I was 16 I started watching "Skins" (the British version of course) and "American Horror Story" online, but only when my parents weren’t home, and then I’d make sure to delete my history. At 18, whenever my friends would recommend cool Netflix shows (i.e. "Orange Is The New Black" and "Sense8"), I’d say I couldn’t watch since I shared a Netflix account with my dad, and he might see what I’ve been watching, which resulted in me binge watching "One Tree Hill," since it was one show that wasn’t that scandalous. Eventually, I began to use my cousin's Netflix account. At 19, if I watch "Faking It" at home, I turn it down to the lowest possible volume. And it’s rated TV-14.

This is how I became a Peter Pan of sorts. I am always going to be behind, because as a kid, I couldn’t watch what other kids were watching, and so I catch up on them now. So yeah, while I have now watched "Sense8," I still can’t watch R-rated movies with my parents; even PG-13 is sometimes hard. I still find myself baffled at how when I slept over a friend's house we watched "The Wolf of Wall Street" with her dad right in the next room.

I know this all seems screwed up and irrational and like my parents have messed me up — and maybe they did a little. But — there are no buts really — I just wonder if anyone else out there ever has dinner with their dad at 19 and has them say, “'Game of Thrones' is too inappropriate for you.” Meanwhile, there are probably thousands of 12-year-old boys watching porn daily.