Judaism is a great and often misunderstood religion. Many of my friends who aren’t Jewish don’t fully understand it. No, Chanukah (that’s how I like to spell it, so deal with it) is not a major holiday and there is more to Judaism than lighting candles and getting presents for eight crazy nights. It is one of the biggest blessings (pun intended) in my life to have been born Jewish, both religiously and culturally. Here’s both the best and worst of being a Jew.
Temple
Although sometimes horribly boring and always very long, going to synagogue is a great way to start a Saturday morning or wind down a Friday night. There is prayer with beautiful songs and melodies, friends and family to schmooze with, and plenty to nosh on. Going to the temple as a college student, while at home for break, is a particularly interesting experience in which I felt more like Peyton Manning walking through a swarm of reporters. Endless times I was asked “How’s school going?” and “When do you go back?” but it was all out of love, so I smiled and answered each and every time I was asked.
Natural Chutzpah
Every Jew has it, although some may show it more or use it more often. For the non-Jew reading this, or maybe the rare Jew who doesn’t know what it is, Chutzpah is defined by a quick google search as “shameless audacity; impudence.” But it is truly defined as a cross between having the guts to do something and having the (pardon my Spanish) cajones to do it. It is something that mostly every Jew grows up understanding and possessing.
All of the Holidays
Yes, I know Yom Kippur sucks. Fasting isn’t easy, but it’s not supposed to be. Moving passed that, the rest of the widely celebrated Jewish Holidays are pretty awesome. On Rosh Hashanah, we have no school (at least here in New Jersey), and eat so much food that we feel like we’re going to explode. On Purim, we get to dress up in costumes (or at least we did when we were younger) and go get candy and toys at a Purim Carnival. Passover is a little hard, but the amount of food we eat, plus all of the leftovers, is well worth the sacrifice. Chanukah is great also, because one can't beat the donuts, latkes and presents on this day. As an added bonus, we also get to celebrate all of the American holidays.
Our Grandma/Nana/Bubbe’s Cooking
Oh man, oh man. Italian grandmothers have nothing on ours (consider yourself way blessed if you have one of each or a combination). Besides knowing how to make the dishes of whatever country their family hails from, they can make a killer matzo ball soup, kugel, challah, kasha, latkes and brisket (do not even get me started). I’m convinced that it is some sort of rule that when a Jewish lady’s daughter or daughter-in-law gets pregnant, they start on a nine-month-long course on cooking, overfeeding and getting lipstick all over your cheek.
Finding out a Famous Person is Jewish
Hava Nagila! It is like winning the lotto, especially if you’re a fan of him/her. Within an hour, your entire family and close Jewish friends have already been informed of this discovery. It is one of the very unexplainably exciting phenomena in Judaism.
“You’re Jewish?”
Yes, I am. My last name is Solomon for crying out loud. I don’t know many non-Jewish Solomons, do you? My personal situation aside, there is a 99.99 percent chance that any given Jew has heard this within the last year. The tone of the question is usually highly confused, with a bit of excitement. For all of you non-Jews out there who don’t understand this question and how often it’s asked, talk to any Jewish friend and they’ll let you know.
“But you don’t look Jewish”
My least favorite sentence to hear. Ever. Period. Sorry that we all don’t look like that.
Israel
You all knew it was coming. Oh, Israel! Our home and native land! (I dearly thank all of you who get that) Israel is a country of wild, native beauty coupled with innovation and modernity. The cities are great, the towns are great, nature is great, Jerusalem is great, it’s all great. Go there on Birthright and then go there again and again and again. Support the nation that’s our ancestral homeland and that serves as a place where any Jew can go.
Random Yiddish
Examples:
“Aren’t you schvitzing”
“What a schmuck”
“You’ve got a lot of chutzpah”
“I don’t want to schlep that”
Chinese Food and the Movie on Christmas
It’s true. It is more than true. It is glorious and wonderful and amazing. I love it. Year in and year out one of the top Jewish American traditions. I love it, the Chinese love it and the movie owners love it.
