Growing up, I always felt sad and disappointed due to how I wasn't able to visit with my extended family as often as I wanted, while many of my peers could just drive 10 minutes or even walk next door to see their relatives. Both sides of my family are out-of-state. My dad's side lives in New York while my mom's side lives in Pennsylvania.

This meant that visits had to be planned in advance and were usually over a span of a few days, as driving for 5+ hours just isn't possible to do every week. This only made me cherish the time with my extended family more, as such visits were not common.

Over the years, roughly from when I was 11 years old on, I felt that my family was slowly becoming less and less close. I lost both sets of grandparents by the time I was 16, and personally, I feel that's why the rest of my family kind of "fell apart" the way that it did, as my grandparents really were the glue that held both sides of my family together.

Now it just felt in pieces.

I'll spare you the details, for even writing about this makes my heart want to burst.

So the new normal was what it was. I spent holidays with my parents at my home, and to be honest I really have grown to enjoy it. For the past ten years, I would dread the holidays, especially when my peers and friends would ask what my plans were and then have to make some excuse as to why I wasn't seeing extended family (honestly, people were just so nosey). I wanted so desperately to have the "perfect large family" that spent every holiday together, like on T.V.

But life is not T.V.

However, as a young adult, I have really started to cherish and look forward to the small holidays with just my parents. I love helping my parents prepare amazing meals and going to my favorite local church. I love being able to sleep in and wear comfy sweats, not having to doll myself up for guests. I feel a wave of relief knowing that I don't have to deal with the irritating questioning from family members about my life that so many of my peers do.

I also love not having to worry about family fights or uncomfortable moments. There really is nothing nicer than being able to just relax with my parents, talk about whatever we want, and enjoy fantastic food and each other's company.

Perks of being from a small family don't just stop at holidays, they are prevalent pretty much all year round. I feel so much more relaxed not having to deal with family drama. I don't need to put on airs for anyone or explain myself to outside family members. No pressure, no problems.

Do I wish my family was larger and closer? Yes, very much so. Am I grateful for the family I do have? Yes, very much. I feel that now that I'm older and more mature, I can further appreciate the time I have with my parents who have always made every holiday and special event amazing.

People may feel sorry for me or question why my family is small and somewhat distant, but they really shouldn't, and honestly it's no one's business. Having a small, "distant" family also doesn't mean that I don't know the meaning of "family" or have strong family values. Honestly, at this point, I feel really lucky, as I don't have to justify my life choices to anyone but my parents. I don't have to share all of my business with a dozen or so other people.

I can just do me and not have to worry about what a dozen other relatives have to say.

After my recent college graduation festivities and the somewhat stressful time this was, it only made me feel all the more blessed that my family is as small as it is.

One day I do hope to have a larger family, with a loving husband, a few kids, and in-laws that love me as their own.

I also hope the family I do have becomes close again, but with life, nothing's guaranteed.

To me, a family is defined as anyone in your life, blood or not, who cares about you and makes an effort. My definition of family is probably quite different from most, but overall I feel very blessed with who I do have in my life and appreciate time together even more.