"Be a giving person not because you expect something from the other party, but simply because you want to be."

This is the best advice I've heard in awhile because it opened my eyes to the fact that I really only do good things for others because I expect them to return the favor at some point.

I've always viewed myself as a good person because I am very giving; however, if I merely do good things because of my expectation that others will get me back, then my intent was wrong from the beginning. Furthermore, if I always feel the need—rather than the desire—of giving back to those who helped me, then my mindset has been mistaken.

Think about it this way: let's say a friend decides to pay for your lunch not because they owe you anything, but purely out of the kindness of their heart. You urge them not to spot you because there is no need, but they insist. If you feel that you must cover them the next time you go out to eat then like me, you're mistaken.

If you genuinely want to take your friend out the next time you meet up, then do so. If you only return the favor because you feel indebted to them, then most friends wouldn't actually want you to pay for them. They'd rather you feel comfortable with the decision and not forced.

On the other hand, a sincere friend wouldn't spot you because they expect a free meal from you the next time you hung out. If people expect something in return every time they perform an act of kindness, they will only become resentful when other parties don't reciprocate.

I never realized how much resent built up within me due to the wrongful expectations I had. I started to believe some of my friends didn't care much about me when truthfully, I shouldn't have always expected something in return.

In 2017 I want to work on being purely sincere without expecting any form of reciprocation. In other words, I want to be a good person without an uterior motive.