Confession: Perfectionism has consumed my life for the past semester. My goals of being the perfect friend, daughter, sister, girlfriend, and student have overcome me in more ways than one. To be completely honest, I’m exhausted. Throughout my life, I did not have a lot of concern for many things. Starting college, I wanted to change that. So, I began analyzing my actions, working harder in school, and building true, personal relationships with people. While all of these things have had benefits, I’m not perfect. I have flaws. I am sometimes extremely self-centered and oblivious to what I say and do. But, I’m working on all of that. What you see about me is what I want you to see. What you don’t know is that I’m struggling to maintain the exterior I show. I believe I have strived so hard to be perfect this semester out of the fear of disappointing or losing those I care about. If I fail a test, I am no longer intelligent in the eyes of others. If I actually express my real opinions, people would no longer like me. I may seem like I don’t care about a lot of things, but I care. I care a lot. I may seem like I’m always happy. But, I’m not. I may seem always confident. But, I’m not. I may seem like I’m always comfortable in my own skin. But, I’m not. With God’s help, I’m working to become the woman I strive to be, which is a confident person who finds her worth in Christ.

Throughout this semester, God has been teaching me that it’s okay let people see the real me; that it is okay to not be perfect all the time. In fact, showing your true self helps you to build stronger relationships with other people, as they may be able to relate to you or help you in your struggles. I am precisely writing this blog for that reason. I want to be able to have genuine relationships with others. It was brought to my attention this semester that others will not confide in you if you do not disclose personal information with them. I began analyzing my friendships. Obviously, I attained close, personal relationships with my friends from middle school and high school because of all the time we spent together. However, as I entered college with a perfectionism mind set, I realized I was attempting to find friendships based on those I had already made. I found myself trying too hard to become friends with people I didn’t click with. However, once I sat back and allowed God to be in control, I found some of my best friends.

With a perfectionism mind set, I was not trusting God to bring friends into my life according to His plan. I was not working for the glory of Christ, but to bring myself a better reputation. I was not finding my worth or hope in Christ, but I was searching for fulfillment in material things. Throughout this past semester, God has been teaching me that grades don’t define how smart I am, my looks don’t define my beauty, and people will still love me if I’m not perfect. This is a lesson for all people, whether you struggle with perfectionism or not. Christians need to find their worth based on God’s perspective of them, not the world’s point of view. God sees His children as perfect already, as the blood of Christ covers Christians. Why try to attain perfectionism when God has already made everything perfect according to his plan? Now, striving to do the best you can is not a bad thing. However, when perfectionism hinders your relationship with Christ, it is time to re-think your priorities. Once we change our train of thought and focus on Christ, everything will fall into place according to His almighty plan.