That woman who fell asleep on the park bench is homeless. That lady with the new Prada bag is poor and received it as a present. That boy at the gym who was looking at you strange has an anxiety disorder. That fat boy who you think should wear a shirt on the beach has a thyroid problem. That police officer who gave you a hard time is going through a divorce. That man whose four kids won’t stop screaming is currently battling their custody. That woman who yelled at the bus driver works 60 hour work weeks in New York City. That same bus driver who has people yell at him all day goes home unable to feed his children. That crying woman’s sister killed herself yesterday. That lady who drove through the red light was rushing to see her son in the hospital who just overdosed on heroin.

These are possibilities that we don’t consider when looking at people. Our first thought when seeing someone is judgment, not kindness. Everyone has a life outside of what you see, and these are our perceptions, which could not be accurate.

The extent that we judge other people based off of our perceptions is unreasonable because we have no clue what these people are going through. Does this mean to be nice to every single person we come across? Of course not. But many times people go out of their way to hurt the many people who are already suffering.

Our actions and words are changed by our perceptions. Your day-to-day interactions and observations should not prevent your ability to be kind. Life can seem twisted when you’re trying to figure people out, and people live complicated lives. But instead of thinking that the lady sitting next to you is crying because she is weak, realize that there is always something more going on. It’s only when you talk to this person and they explain what they are going through that you can truly understand.

If you’re hungry and you open a brand new loaf of bread expecting to eat a sandwich, you would be surprised when there’s mold on it. People who you think are attractive can be nasty people, just like how people who you do not perceive as attractive can be nice people. And it’s an unfortunate waste of interaction when you talk to people for the wrong reasons. You will realize your friendships aren’t really based off of anything at all.

Not only does being kind improve the lives of others, it improves your own as well. Kindness decreases pain, stress, anxiety, depression and blood pressure, while increasing your lifespan.

“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things (Romans 2.1).”