My entire life I have listened to everyone around me and let their conception of me define how I see myself. We all do it. If someone tells you that you look fat, it’s going to define you for weeks, months, or even years, depending on how often you hear it. I’ve heard things so many times I could believe them for a lifetime. And it honestly sucks feeling that way about yourself. But consider the people who have told you all those things. Are they people who genuinely care about you, or are they people who just need to feel better about themselves. 99% of the time, it’s their insecurities. Why would someone who truly loved and cared about you, tear you apart? And for those who have had had loved ones ruin them, I am deeply sorry for that. If they destroyed you, did they really even love you in the first place? Most likely not. And I’m sorry for that too.

There is something about putting someone down that innately makes humans feel better about themselves. I assume it’s because when we say something degrading to someone, we believe we are superior to them, which makes us feel good. I don’t understand the notion, but I’ve watched it happen a countless number of times. Girls love to gossip about how ugly other girls are, just because they want to feel prettier about themselves. They go on social media and point out every single flaw they can find in someone to boost their confidence. How backwards is that? Wouldn’t it just be easier if we looked in the mirror and appreciated and liked ourselves enough to not make fun of other people? What a world that would be.

We all spend so much time finding flaws within ourselves and others that we aren’t taking the time to see beauty. I know that sounds a little ridiculous, but consider this. Every single person on this planet has something beautiful about them. So for people like me with the pudgy bodies, big foreheads, and birthmarks, sure, we might not be the prettiest on the outside. Maybe the best parts of us are on the inside. But when we first look at someone, we must make a split-second decision on how we are to react to them. And that decision is made purely off their looks. Unfortunately, sometimes we turn away from people we think look different, purely because we don’t want to take the time to get to know an ugly person, right? In my opinion, who cares what your friends look like if they have ugly hearts? Not everything is about appearance. 

The worst of these however are the bystanders. Those people who stand in the shadows as someone is being destroyed. Guess what, for those of you who say absolutely nothing, you are just as horrible as the person who is making fun of another. Even if you agree with them, and I hope to God you don’t, at least stop them from ruining someone else. Because if it was you, getting picked apart, you would hope someone would rescue you too. Take the time to stand up for someone else, not because you necessarily want to, but because it’s the right thing to do. 

Out of all of this, what breaks my heart the most, is that there are people in the world, who truly believe lies about themselves, lies that make them feel worthless and unloved. Whether you like someone or not, everyone deserves to feel loved. No matter what. So firstly, stop letting other people’s opinions define you and make you feel anything less than what you are. I promise, there is something people see in you, and that you should see in yourself, that is truly beautiful. Secondly, take the time to point out the things you think are wonderful in the people you love. It’s so important to tell people we love them while we still have them, instead of waiting for the right time or moment, and losing them. 

Always,

HMS