Imagine if every other person that you talked to in the span of a day yelled at and verbally berated you. Now imagine that you can do nothing about it and must simply apologize and try to help that person, even if they are completely wrong. How frustrating would that be? At what point would you give up, start taking the insults to heart or break down?

Unfortunately this is the daily reality for many people in customer service positions. Verbal abuse by customers has become a disturbingly normal occurrence. These poor workers go into their shifts already mentally prepared for angry customers and rude insults, unable to do anything to combat this.

I have witnessed this abuse from customers, as well as experienced it for myself, multiple times and I can assure you that it’s something you never get used to. It makes you feel helpless, upset and degraded. It also puts these customer service people in an uncomfortable position wherein they must not only continue to help their abuser, but bend over backwards to try to solve the problem and make the customer feel as though they are in the right.

Most often, these outbursts by customers are unwarranted, but even if the customer service person has made a mistake, there’s no reason to scream at them. Mistakes can be fixed. Money can be returned. But you can’t undo the emotional ramifications of verbal abuse.

Additionally, berating your waitress/cashier/etc. because they can’t change store policy, can’t take your expired coupon or can’t produce an out-of-stock item magically out of thin air is ridiculous. They are simply the messenger, doing the best to ensure you have the best experience at their establishment as possible. There is only so much that they can do to help you, and breaking or bending company or store policies is not plausible. If you find that the waitress or associate cannot solve your problem, ask to talk to a manager. However, there is still only so much that a manager can do. If you still have a problem, take it up with the company itself. But at no point should you ever yell, scream, or berate anyone who is only trying to help you.

People in customer service positions, whether it be a waitress, a salesperson or a receptionist, are in that position to help you. That’s literally the entire purpose of their job. They are trying to make your experience, wherever you are, as smooth and as painless as possible. Help them help you by being patient, calm and most importantly, not yelling at them. Verbal abuse is not okay.