People don’t change.

They can become better or worse versions of themselves but they don’t change who they truly are.

Where did I hear this advice? About three years ago from the movie Frozen and even though that doesn’t seem like a credible source, I never forgot it. Before I come off completely pessimistic let me break it down.

I am by nature an introvert, always have been and always will be.

However, as I have gotten older I have learned and bettered myself by putting myself out there more.

Now, I have my moments when I revert to being shy or completely bottle up because my introvert tendencies take over. While I have gotten better, I am still an introvert and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Have you ever dated someone you felt like you had to fix?

Maybe you didn’t at the time but once it was over you were incredibly drained.

I saw this happen to a friend.

She poured all her energy into encouraging her boyfriend at the time and for a while, he seemed to be doing great. When he reverted to his old ways they eventually broke for various reasons but I saw it take place and it reminded me that people don’t change.

I think this happens when we lose ourselves, or we fear we are going to lose ourselves. We fear if we better ourselves that we may succeed higher or people may expect more of us.

I know I haven’t bettered some of my habits from a fear of success. I worry what if I reach my full capacity, but until I try I don't know.

I don’t believe you change who you are, I think we just go through phases where we test things out to see if it aligns with us.

As a college kid, I know people try partying to see if that’s the route they want to go. There’s a sense of trying to live out your younger days as wild as possible so there are little regrets. I can understand but I wouldn’t utilize all my younger years.

Imagine the stereotypical character in the movie, the one where the villain is actually a good guy who was scorned so he sought revenge and in the end, he regrets his mistakes revealing his true self. Although he lost himself, he came back even if it was to last for two seconds in his final scene.

Deep down he still had a heart and was a good person he just lost his way.

That is the thing about "change", it isn't about becoming someone new we just become better or worse versions of ourselves. Different things play into this but ultimately, we each have a core identity of who we truly are.