We all know that one guy. You know, the obnoxious dude who has to one-up
everyone in a conversation. Some of this, you really can't make up. Here is an example of how it plays out.
Me: Yeah, I just
got back this summer from the military.
Him (obnoxiously butts into the conversation from across the room): Oh, really, dude?!
Bro, I was deployed before rushing here. I kid you not. There I was, knee deep
in empty shells, blood, and dip spit as the Chinese stormed our position, and
you know what I did? I threw a blow up doll at them and they ran away! Hahaha, look at me! That was so frat
Me: I
wasn't aware we were fighting the Chinese.
Him: Bro, I was Special Forces, recon Navy SEAL ranger. You probably haven't heard of
that, it's top secret. You know how it is.
Me:
That's awesome, who do you even know here?
This guy is everywhere -- not just a rushee or freshman. Easy tips to identify him? It's not hard. He generally tries to talk to
every girl and freshman to make them think he is a cool guy. If it sounds pretty
illegal or stupid, that’s the guy I'm talking about. Usually he is trying to
impress some unfortunate girl.
Here is another sample conversation.
Girl trying to
not make the conversation awkward: So are you going to that study session
later?
Him:
Study? Haha, I just paid off TAs to pass me. My dad's like a senator and
country star. Do you even know who I am?!
Girl:
No, not --
Him : I'm
the new quarterback for the team. I was All-State and a top recruit since I was
in middle school.
Her:
Cool. I guess --
Him:
Yeah, it’s cool. My dad wanted me to go here because I'm a super legacy at and they begged me to come to school here. I said
I'd think about it only if they got President Obama to call me and personally
ask me. Barry O's on speed dial but, you know, who wants to call him?
Her (rolls
eyes because she can't even tell him she’s not interested).
Him (ignores signals): So, you should totally come out to Cancun with me. I got my personal
yacht out there, you know, I usually invite models, and stuff, but I guess you
could come.
Her (does not get chance to say no).
Him:
Okay, cool, I will pick you up in my limo! It's so frat!
Her: No,
that’s okay. I'm pretty busy as it is (walks away).
Him (turns to any guy within a 10 foot radius): Dude, she totally wants me. She's
coming over later to my penthouse.
Guy: I
thought you lived in the crappy dorms?
Him: Bro, where have you been? I like moved out of there when my dad saw how terrible it
was!
Guy: I
just saw you in there yesterday!
Him: I
was moving out, ya know, just trying to get the nonstop party in my room out!
Guy:
Yeah, you totally have a nonstop party in there. Kegs on kegs, right?
Him:
Dude, you know it! I get dimes, bro!
Guy:
Yeah, dimes (walks away).
Fellas,
if you are this guy, just stop. Nobody wants to be that guy.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
The Academic
Also known as "the nerd." This stereotype still sort of exists in college; it’s just harder to spot. This person genuinely likes school and they are good at it because they’re naturally smart and they put in that work.
The “Prepster”
Photo by Jocelyn Allen on UnsplashStill can’t decide if they want to work for Vineyard Vines, J. Crew, or Lily Pulizter when they graduate. They summer in Nantucket probably, and always look really put together.
The Theatre Person
Photo by Kyle Head on UnsplashHobbies include acting, singing, dancing, making large hand motions and talking loudly and clearly. Their next show will apparently be the best show yet, and you can’t deny their talent.
The Entrepreneur
a group of people sitting around a table with laptopsPhoto by UK Black Tech on UnsplashThey kick-started the business club last year, are planning to move to New York to start work right after school, and they secretly want to be in “The Wolf of Wall Street.”
The Eco Rep
people on beach during daytimePhoto by OCG Saving The Ocean on UnsplashAlways asking if you’re going to recycle that napkin, and gets frustrated when people put a compost item in the regular trash. #motherearth
The Athlete
Photo by Keith Johnston on UnsplashTheir sport takes up a lot of their time, but they love it. Always tryna improve their game and you’re a little jealous because they’re in incredible shape.
The Bio-chem Major
They’ve got big plans for the future that may include scrubs, lab coats and hospitals. Also, they either love or hate their organic chemistry class.
The Party-er
You honestly wonder how they have the time to go out the way they do, but you’re impressed and admire them a little... OK, a lot.
The Great Debater
They probably did well in Sociology 101 and know how to argue a point. They’re persuasive, witty, and like controversial topics.
The English Major
Still stuck in the library trying to finish a book that may or may not be for class. Always quoting some story or article they just read, and won’t admit it but they actually like reading and editing your papers.
The RA
Usually a super responsible and organized person–I mean, they're in charge of keeping up a good bulletin board and catching people in the wrong. People have mixed feelings about the RA, but they mean well. And they just want you to show up to the floor meeting.
The Art Major
They are amazing at drawing things and are super creative. But they’re always running off to the studio to paint/draw/sculpt.
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